We took our daughter out to dinner for her birthday last night. It has been a tough year. She dumped her no good for nothing drunkard husband. She worked hard to get divorced and is buying a house and working hard. For the first time she was treated to a very nice dinner out with my wife and I. She said this was the first birthday in 10 years that she had not been "greeted with disappointment" (ex would not do anything for her). We had a great time. The issues was we knew dad had a meeting last night and we waited until he left to go to his meeting. Knowing full well he would have come along. It was my decision to have the 3 of us at dinner. He didn't even remember it was her birthday anyway. He remembers the other grand kids but not the one who lives with him. Also when we go out he knows I am paying so he orders a cocktail, soup, a salad, an expensive entree then coffee and dessert and generally make smart comments to the wait staff. This is the way he does it all the time. It would have added another $70 to the bill. I just wanted us and daughter time. The whole time though I was racked with guilt for not having him there. He got home after we got back and I guess he didn't know. I provide shelter, food, care for his dog and everything else but I still get racked with guilt when I dont bring him along. Just becasue I have him live with us does it mean I have to bring him to every event? I take him to my social club meetings to meet people. I take him to some games at my friends house (super bowl). I still feel guilty when I leave the house and I dont bring him along. I need me time and time with just my wife and daughter (while she is still living with us).