My 85 grandmother has been calling my mother and I asking where my grandfather is and how she is unhappy living alone. My grandfather passed almost 7 years ago. She is referring to me about when I was a teenager and asking the same questions over and over again. She can’t eat without supervision because of problems swallowing. My uncle shuttles back and forth between the family business to drop off food. The food persists of happy meals and the occasional salad. My uncle has proceeded to turn my grandmothers house into his own storage facility where she could trip over things at any moment. I know my uncle is trying to siphon money from her cause the family business doesn’t make money, he just screws around occasionally doing work. She sold some land and somehow that money disappeared when the sale was done. My father and aunt (her sons day daughter) wants nothing to do with her cause she won’t listen them when they repeatedly told her she needs to go into a home. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t have the money to get an attorney to fight my uncles.

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I doubt you would win such a fight, either.
So I would call APS if you suspect elder abuse. Concentrate on things you have EVIDENCE of. Unsafe living condition is a big one (the mess in the house). Inadequate nutrition. Concentrate on telling them that your Grandmother is your concern; that you feel the uncles are using her for housing and for financial support and that she is helpless in their hands.
They will go and examine all the living circumstances. If you have evidence of financial abuse give it to them. If not they may not feel able to examine that.
This could end in state guardianship and you need to be aware of that. At that point NONE of you in the family will have any say about placement, care and financial concerns; a state appointed fiduciary will be doing all that.
You may want to get the advice of a good Elder Care Law Attorney before you make any move at all. He/she can help you decide if your evidence supports a move going forward. This will cost you 350 to 450, but may be money well spent.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

It is not your role to spend any of your money on a lawyer. Who has g'ma's healthcare POA? Apparently it is not the uncle. She certainly exhibits symptoms of dementia. As her symptoms worsen more serious and dangerous behavior can occur. She could begin to wander away from the house at any time of day or night with no one's knowledge. She may leave something on the stove that overheats or worse. She could have frightening delusional or hallucinogenic episodes. No one would be there to help her. The family needs to sit down with her and explain these problems. Her POA has the authority to act on her behalf and for her safety. She certainly belongs in AL or MC for her own safety. I'm afraid the uncle may be trying to keep her assets from being spent on a care facility. The sale of her home could finance her care costs. You can call your local Area Agency on Aging for help and maybe get a social worker involved.
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Reply to sjplegacy

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