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OK, I know that some of you will understand this and others will wonder what the fuss is about but for the past 20 years we have always has a cat at home. At one stage we had three cats and two kittens but over the years they were either killed, disappeared (coyotes?) or were euthanized.


The last one, Midas, (see my Avatar) died in my arms last weekend and I am heartbroken. We still have two dogs (all our pets were rescue animals) but dogs are not the same as cats. The strange thing is that I never had a cat in my life until I met my husband-who has had cats for more than 40 years.


Friends who know how sad I feel have suggested that I get another cat before Christmas. My husband suggests we wait a while. We have a live-in caregiver so the decision is not mine alone to make.


Yesterday, for the first time since diagnosis six years ago, my husband asked me if he had ever met me socially. It just constitutes yet another loss. (We have no children.)


Am I being selfish in wanting to get another cat? In fact, if I was to get a kitten, I would get two, probably siblings, so that they would have feline company. The dogs already think that they are cats so there would be no problem there. The care of all our pets is my total responsibility.


I know that there are more important topics to discuss on this wonderful site but I would so appreciate your input.

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Cathberry, Sunnygirl is right about how cats can show up at your door needing a home. Most of my felines I adopted from my back porch :)

So sorry for the passing of Midas. I know how that can be having cats since I was 5 years old, that's over 60 years ago. They become so much a part of the family.

My sig other was more of a big dog person and never experienced the craziness of having more than one cat in the house at a time. We got two when they were 5 weeks old [trapped by a neighbor], oh good grief the stuff those two siblings would get into :0
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Pets are wonderful and can bring so much comfort to a home. My cousin had a cat that she loved so much. The problem was that her dementia made it difficult for the cat. She obsessed over the cat and her behavior (pacing, worrying, obsessing, constantly calling the cat, acting odd, taping every crevice in the house to prevent the cat from escaping) made the cat very anxious. I also think the cat sensed how unwell she was and it acted out with litter box issues.

I suppose that your husband might not ever progress that way, but it is possible. The behavior is unpredictable. I would have a backup plan of where the cat could go if things got challenging with his care in the home.

It's good you have outside help. I was so overwhelmed with my loved one's care, I would not have a minute to devote to the care of an animal. But, I say it's great for those who do.

I might wait a little while though on the cat. I've heard that they have a way of finding you. (In my life, I've had 3 that showed up at my door.) They were super special.
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Not to be crass but we are just waiting for all the pets to die so we can get away once in a while.. We love our critters, horses, dog, cat, but we are early 60s and cats can go for 20 years. Our sweet dog is near the end of her life and it will be very hard to not adopt another rescue dog but we are going to try and resist. So many times old folks leave pets with no plans or no one to care for them.
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So sorry to hear about the loss of your kitty. Being a pet lover myself (both dogs and cats).. I know how deep the bond can be. Your question isn't trivial at all. Grief over a pet can be pretty consuming.

As far as replacing, there are arguments on both sides. I have replaced a pet before to ease the pain of grief before I was ready and kind of regretted it. I just didn't bond to the new cat like the one I lost. Just make your decision carefully.. you may not bond with the new kitten like the cat you lost.. not for a while anyway.

(((Hugs)))
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