I moved my mother into our home when she could no longer care for herself. She has dementia and has been with us for three years. I live with my husband and adult son. Fortunately, my mom has enough savings that we can afford a caregiver whenever needed, as well as enough money to help cover living costs (food, utilities, rent, etc.). She is mostly in good spirits, walks and talks, laughs, enjoys being with the family. Recently, my husband has expressed a desire to have her placed in a nursing home. He feels burdened and inconvenienced by her. I feel that placing her in a home will cost me on multiple levels: physically (having to leave our home throughout the week to visit with her), emotionally (she does poorly in a nursing home setting), and psychologically (I feel responsible for being a loving daughter- and just thinking about it, brings me to tears). I know that my husband feels the stress in our relationship (which we had well before my mother moved in) and believes that it will be better with her not living here. I feel that putting her in a home is against my value system while she is still doing relatively well, and I will resent him if I do it under this pressure.
I'd love some feedback!