I got into a heated discussion with my mom's caseworker and she has referred me to a counselor for mental help. I've been staying with my mom for the past year. Nobody else can or will help, it's just me. I finally got my mom on Medicaid Waiver, I was upset because they approve my mom for 31 hours then give some of those hours to a home care agency so I can only get paid $14/hr for the hours they don't work. If they work 10 hours then I can only bill for 21 hours, accidently bill for an extra hour and somebody has to pay the hour back, yet they can pay for a $15,000 renovation to make the house more 'accessible'. It didn't help that I found out that they can't just replace a bathtub, it has to be a major renovation or their contractors won't bid on it. I was told that the project could not be halted because the contractors have the materials ordered and they can't get paid until the work is completed.
We should have never permitted anyone to come in the house. My mom with her dementia couldn't possibly understand what they wanted to do, she signed their papers because she thought if she did she would never have to go to the Nursing Home, but I don't recall anybody saying that. Now she doesn't want the contractors coming in here hacking up the house. They will have to take out part of a load bearing wall, remove a closet, expand the bathroom into the closet, tear up the flooring down to the floor joists, install a walk-in shower, change the sink and toilet around, widen the doorway and move the door 5' to the East. They are installing new flooring and new wall coverings, and we have no say in any of it.
My mom's case worker said "I asked you if your mom would be okay with the construction and you said she would". Well she was okay with having a new furnace installed. She also said "You were sent a copy of the blueprints, it's not my fault if you don't know how to read a blueprint". My mom is 96 and will not ever have 'independence'. I will still have to help her to the bathroom and to use the porch lift. She told me I have to allow them to build a new wood deck with a lift on the front of the house, but after it's installed I can remove it and haul it to the dump.
I've been thinking about moving out, but I know my mom would just lock the doors, sit in her chair and wait to die. She wouldn't eat, take her meds or anything. It might convince her to go to assisted living if I left but I'm not sure if assisted living would take her. She says she won't go to a nursing home and nobody can make her. Right now, I can only get the home care agency here for a few hours a week and that's it. Since my mom is on Medicaid Waiver they just take her when they have time, self pay is $30/hr. but they only get $20/hr. from Medicaid. Sadly they only give me $14/hr. and I'm here all the time doing everything for her.
What I really need is to spend a few days on the lake fishing not some shrink.