I don't know if this would work. but even if she went to AL, with her behavior. it wouldn't be long before AL ask you to get her some meds. there are meds to even out their moods. meds to calm them down
so can you send/take a letter to her dr. and explain all her you have POA? maybe they might make a home visit idk

even if you don't. I would still try. I have read how you can call aging and adult services, or some agency for a "needs assessment"

I just read you are 3 hours away. this makes it very hard.

again call your aging and adult services and explain your mom is in danger and lives alone with Alzheimers.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to wally003
Mfreemam Aug 26, 2018
I’ve called multiple agencies and have been told until she hurts herself or hurts someone else there is nothing I can do. I’ve decided not to do as much as I was doing for her-but this just makes me feel guilty. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss. I’m worried she’s going to wander away, or hurt herself, or let the wrong person into her house.
My mom doesn’t care about her insurance-she flat out refuses to go to the doctor. She needs help, she’s hallucinating (thinking people are breaking into her house, seeing people living at her house-she lives alone), not eating, not showering, not cleaning her house. She won’t let help come into her home. Last week she agreed to move, signed papers for an assisted living facility then decided the next day she wasn’t moving. When I tried to talk to her, she became irate, screaming and swearing at me. It’s hard-I’m her only living child and I live 3 hours away. I drive every week to check on her but visiting once a week is not enough.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Mfreemam
Ahmijoy Aug 12, 2018
You need to call Adult Protective Services and report an adult at risk. Mom is not capable of being reasoned with and at this point even a therapeutic fib wouldn’t work.
Also along those lines if they have a primary that knows them they have just stopped going, you can also tell them that given their age when they don't go in for regular checkups and start missing too many the doctors are required to report and the state will send someone out for a welfare check. We have used the "it's out of our hands if the doctor doesn't feel you are caring for yourself properly or letting us help (or we aren't taking care of you properly" and "regular check ups is their way of knowing" at times and it seems to work well. Mom knows she doesn't want anyone else involved in deciding what's ok and what isn't, I think she feels she's better off with us. Lol Now she also has a long time relationship with her primary and has medical issues so this may hold more weight with her, IDK.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Lymie61

freqflyer - good answer. My mother won't go to the doctor, canceled three appts. in the past year. She is not sick, but should have a check up once a year. No matter what I say she refuses to go - I think she is worried she might be diagnosed with Dementia and/or someone might put her in a home. Both are doubtful scenarios. The Medicare line might work.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to UptoHere

Mfreemam, there are times when we need to use what is called "theraputic fibs" to get our parent to do what is in the best interest for them.

For a parent who won't go to the doctor, if that parent is of clear mind, you can try saying "Mom, Medicare requires you go to the doctor once a year or you will lose your medical coverage". You know that isn't true, but Mom may believe it enough that she would finally go to the doctor.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to freqflyer

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter