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Mom has several children , all adults. One of her children thinks he can control EVERYTHING about mom. the nursing home he placed mom in, has encouraged family members to take mom out for daily outings, but says POA hasn't approved mom's children to do so. I feel the POA has overstepped his authority. This is not the only red flag the POA has done, there are numerous, which points to taking advantage of elder...elder abuse.


Are there Senior Advocates that are available to represent mom and see to it that the POA is investigated? or is this something that each sibling would need to do in hiring their own attorney?

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Sounds like you and brother have a difficult relationship. If you are not able to discuss your desire to take Mum out occasionally and all parties be reasonable in the discussion ask a social worker to obtain a mediator for you and brother to discuss in a neutral location how his actions may be at odds with the other family wishes. If brother is paying for nursing home and feels deep resentment this may be his passive aggressive way of retaliation. Offer to chip in financially if possible or there may be difficulties that occur when Mum is away from familiar surroundings and the nursing home complains to brother making his job harder.
As people age, especially with illnesses and dementia leaving a familiar place is difficult and disorients them upon return. If mum has dementia she may tell your brother that she doesn't want to go out -thinking it pleases him and then when she sees you it's a different story. It's all complicated and it can help to see the challenge from other sides before creating hard feelings. Doc
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The wording of this question caught my eye and I had to respond:
A POA has no rights, they have duties and responsibilities to act in the best interest of the person who granted them POA.
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it sounds like the POA pre-arranged who could take Mom out of the facility. I know when we placed Mom we had to designate who had authority to take her out. For safety reasons, we also made sure to specifically list those who could not take her out as those individuals had previously tried to manipulate mom into giving them money. You could request the facility to let you know if there was such a designation and then offer to visit mom with your brother and take her out together a few times so that you are both comfortable with that before trying to do so on your own.
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Let this be a lesson to everyone. Never give one child control over your life (POA, Trustee, health care advocate). Have a professional outside of the family take care of these matters. Picking one child over the others is a recipe for disaster.
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Sorry to hear of your issues. First of all a Power of Attorney is a fiduciary obligation and not a right. Your brother is required to act in your mother's best interest. Typically this involves the ability to access finances, make insurance claims, etc. This can also involve the ability to choose living arrangements. It is used when a person has lost the competency to make decisions for themselves. Your mother may have lost the ability to manage her checkbook but not the competency to decide that she wants to go to church or dinner with you. However, the distinction becomes blurred and difficult for a third party, like a facility, to navigate. It is possible in most states to become guardian over the person while leaving another the guardian over the estate (money). If a resolution cannot be found you may seek guardianship over one or both of these.
Modern plans can allow for a POA monitor who can request copies of financial records. I generally do not advise clients to name multiple POAs due to deadlocks.
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The POA document specifies exactly the rights that the POA is given. Each POA document can be different, and there are also different rules by state. For example, it is common for someone to have power over paying bills, but not have the power to sell property. It is also common, especially if there are multiple children, to have one designated to make medical decisions and one designated to make financial decisions. You need to read the POA document to decide exactly where the POA power begins and ends.

Taking her out of the nursing home, while many people think this is a common sense way to improve her social life and happiness, can be much more complicated. Some nursing homes treat this as a medical decision or a safety decision. It could be a medical decision because after mom returns to the nursing home after an outing she may be agitated, disconcerted, and difficult so the POA has decided that its too much for her. Also, as someone else has discussed, many people are purposely disallowed from removing someone as they have a history of manipulation or gold digging.

I am assuming in my answer that your mom is not competent and that POA has already been activated for her. If she IS still competent, then POA is not activated UNLESS it is DPOA...if DPOA doesn't exist and she is still competent, then the person calling the shots now really has no rights.

Angel
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I was given power of attorney authority for two friends of mine with no children and no close family. It covered both the financial aspects and the health care decisions. At the same time, two others were names as second and third POAs. The second one lives out of state as was related to the wife as a second cousin, the third was another friend who lived near-by. So far, I make all the decisions, but include the others in what I do by telling them in emails. If something happens to me, they need to be up-to-date to be able to step in and take over. When we left for a trip recently, I had the most important things to access in a pile on the dining room table and showed the 3rd POA where it was--the checkbook, the monthly bills, etc. He would take over while I was gone or if something happened to me. We are all on the same page in terms of complete honesty and being responsible for our friends' well-being, so it is working well.
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If you don't like the POA you hire an attorney and challenge them in court. Very expensive process, and you are subjected to fingerprint and background check and credit check if you want the court to appoint you. They even look at your tax returns, whether you own or rent and your driving record.
Can you pass all that?
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If your mom is competent you can hire an attorney to reci d the POA. If she is not you can seek guardianships. Guardianships are a legal preceding in the court. They are complicated and expensive. You can have the county where your mom lives investigate through the department of aging but it can make it difficult to continue to see your mother of your brother decides to retaliate on you. You could hire an advocate like IKOR if they have an office in your area. They can assign a nurse to support your family as an advocate for your mom. Being a POA for a family member can be an enormous amount of work and responsibility. An avocate will help you process and explore options as a family seeking your moms best interest. Advocates are paid out of pocket so your mom need to have the money to pay them but they can help.
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DPOA is a document that generally sets out the same legal rights as POA with the exception that it is active immediately, even if the person is competent.

There is a great article here on aging care about DPOA
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/what-is-durable-power-of-attorney-140233.htm

Angel
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