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Ever since I can remember, my mother has refused to give me power of attorney to avoid, precisely, ending up in a nursing home. Fortunately, it was not my doing, it was ordered by the attending physician at the hospital on one occasion too many and followed by her own medical doctor, because mother was becoming more and more unstable and irrational. Now that mom has shown marked improvement, she prefers to still not give me a power of attorney if ever she gets worse again. Does anyone know or can anyone tell me how I can get a power of attorney without my mother signing or is there another document that will allow me to make decisions for her? I already know that what I am giving her is making her better, so I do not foresee that happening anytime soon, but just in case she starts to regress.

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If you have a family attorney, speak to her/him privately and ask about adding a "no nursing home" type clause in a DPOA or POA. A skilled, experienced estate planning attorney can create a clause that would prohibit such a placement generally but leave open options for an emergency.

It might be something like "My proxy is prohibited from placing me in a nursing home w/o my consent". Then elsewhere in the document there might be a clause "anything herein to the contrary notwithstanding, my proxy is not prohibited from taking legal action to address serious medical conditions"...something like that.

It seems as if it could be a crossover to a Medical POA, and in some ways it is, but it also overrides the no nursing home prohibition under certain (such as exigent) circumstances.
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Your mother is correct - you cannot keep her in the nursing home. However, the NH has an obligation not to release your mother into an unsafe environment. If you tell them that she does not have 24/7 care at home and refuse to take her into your home, a discharge planner will not release her. If you are staying in your mother's home, that's a whole different scenario. Agree with babalou, check with nursing home if you are not sure whether your mother is under state guardianship.
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You might want to check and make sure she has not be made a ward of the state, or if NH has been declared guardian of her person. Just because a doc writes a prescription for nh care does not remen a person there.

From your description, it sounds as though she might have been declared incompetent by two physicians. I believe this would be a matter of public record. Speak first to the social worker at the nh.
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Really, great! My mother believes I put her in the nursing home, but really, two physicians gave the prescription, because she was in dire need for 24/7 care after breaking her ankle in three different parts and after they found she could not even remember her own name. Now that she remembers, she reminds me that I cannot keep her in anything home against her will.
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Rainmom is correct. It is a difficult process. There has to be a compelling reason for Guardianship. If she is competent it is almost impossible. Maybe the best thing is to sit down with your mom and an Estate Planning Attorney and discuss all of the options she has. It would certainly be much cheaper. Many Attorneys will even come to a nursing home or hospital to discuss her plans.
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Thank you, Rainmom.
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Going to court and being awarded guardianship by a judge
is really the only way to gain authority over another adult who is unwilling to give it freely. It can be a lengthy and expensive process typically requiring the involment of an attorney.
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