At what capacity to change POA?


My father has three children. He has always stated that he does not want son 2 to have decision making over his health or finances. Son 2 lives closest. Father becomes confused, is hospitalized, recovers and has mild dementia. Son 2 has POA. Father doesn't remember how this happened or when and does not want son 2 in charge. Son 2 will not allow information to other sons. Places father in lock down memory unit. Father does not want this situation. Father can clearly indicate consistently that he doesn't want Son 2 as POA. Son 2 will not allow father to be taken for eval to his PCP. Son 2 will not allow access to records. Son 2 will not talk on phone to siblings. Advice?

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Your profiles states you're caring for your father in AL. But your post states that Son 2 is the closest to your father. What's the situation at the AL? Were you able to get access to any of those records while you were caring for your father - the records might offer some clarification on any dementia progression, or other events that occurred there.
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What were the circumstances under which Son 2 was named as a proxy in a POA in the first place? If your father was not mentally cognizant at the time, it's probably not a valid POA.

This is one situation in which I think you need to consult an elder law attorney, STAT. And ask about how to get access to the medical records, which will be difficult if your father isn't mentally cognizant to authorize it.

Do you know if there is a co-proxy under the POA?
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Advice is let the judge in surrogate's court decide. A Guardianship hearing will determine who should be the POA and where the individual should be placed.
Let me say you don't just move someone to memory care. The patient is evaluated by a medical team prior to admission.
Son 2 is dealing with an angry patient and siblings who want to debate the degree of dementia that Dad has. That cycle of clarity to confusion and back again gets shorter and shorter until it is minute by minute. Been there. Fortunately mom did not act out aggressively. If she had, we would have had to move her to a locked unit for the safety of all concerned.
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