I am POA for my mother who is in an assisted living community. My brother is the executor of her will. When it came time to sell my mother's house (which we had to sign back over to her, as my dad put it in his children's names), he thought he would be in charge of selling it. I told him that I didn't want to handle the sale, but as POA I have to because Mom is still living. So he got mad and refused to help clear out the house or give Mom any money if she needed it. He also got mad that Mom and I chose the facility we did. He said she could have gone somewhere cheaper!
Anyway, considering all that, I want to make sure I have all my ducks in a row when the time comes to hand over documents for him to settle final estate requirements. I am looking for a detailed checklist, but can't find anything. I want to know what I need to give him; does he need all the bank statements, the house settlement documents, all the paid invoices? Should I make copies of everything for myself as "protection"?
Also, none of my siblings have asked me about Mom's financial status, like how much money she has left or anything. Should I be giving them a financial update once a year? If they asked I would show them, no problem. But since they don't seem to care and are mad because she is in an assisted living community that doesn't take Medicaid until her money is gone, do I just let it go so they don't give me problems?
You really have 2 questions: 1. What do I need to do now so that her estate can be distributed with minimum of hurt and angry feelings. 2. What can I do to ensure her estate gets distributed in an accurate and timely manner
Regarding 1. Letting all the people know what is going on with your Mom, where the money is being spent, etc,. what you are signing her up for, all the decisions you are making is a step in the right direction. For the really major stuff, like selling her house, I would send them a copy of the settlement and bills that you paid out from her funds. I would definitely send them a copy of her tax return each year.
Regarding #2, I believe it is in your best interest to carry out the transition as quickly and accurately as possible, to help the executor complete his duties. The lawyer fees and CPA fees could be quite high!
The IRS has some information regarding the death of a taxpayer as there are forms to fill out and people to notify: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/deceased-person
However, there is a lot more than that....all the online accounts (e.g. paypal, amazon, etc.) and the passwords. How about duplicate keys and where they are located At least with the financial institutions, one gets quarterly or yearly reports, so I would keep those.
A good book that is being circulated is Annette Kam's Wait Don't Die Yet! You could get the book from Amazon https://www.amazon.com/s?k=wait+don%27t+die+yet&crid=1PSVQE4XVTD90&sprefix=wait+don%27t+die+yet%2Caps%2C183&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 or you could download the bulk of the book and checklists from her personal website (for free) https://annettekam.com/downloadable-free-ebook/
I wish you well on this journey. This uncovering of assets and accounts and credit/debit cards, is quite a lot of work.
Original Will – The court requires the original signed copy to open probate.
Codicils – Any amendments made to the original will.
Death Certificate – Multiple certified copies are often needed (for banks, insurance, etc.). The Executor meets w/the funeral director who fills out a form and sends it in, then you can pick up the DC there. At least that's how it was where my LO passed away in south FL.
Trust Documents – If a revocable or irrevocable trust was used, provide the trust agreement.
Letters Testamentary or Letters of Administration – Issued by the court once probate is granted, giving the Executor legal authority. (The Executor either files for this themselves through the courts or the attorney does it for you).
Identification & Personal Records
Social Security Card or Number
Birth Certificate
ID
Marriage Certificate(s)
Divorce Decrees or Prenuptial Agreements – If applicable
Military Discharge Papers (e.g., DD214) – For veterans’ benefits or burial honors.
Financial Documents
Bank and Investment Account Statements – Checking, savings, brokerage, IRAs, 401(k)s, etc.
Life Insurance Policies – Including beneficiary information.
Pension and Retirement Plan Documents
Recent Tax Returns (Federal and State) – Usually at least 3 years.
Pay Stubs, W-2s, or 1099s – For income reporting and benefits.
Debts and Liabilities – Mortgage statements, credit cards, loans, utilities.
Safe Deposit Box location, Key and Inventory – If applicable.
Property & Asset Records
Real Estate Deeds and Property Tax Statements
Vehicle Titles
Business Ownership Documents – LLCs, partnerships, sole proprietorships.
Personal Property Inventory – Valuable assets such as jewelry, art, or collectibles.
Digital & Online Assets
List of Digital Accounts – Email, banking, social media, cloud storage, and logins.
Online Payment Platforms – PayPal, Venmo, cryptocurrency wallets, etc.
Other Helpful Documents
Funeral and Burial Instructions or Prepaid Funeral Plans
Obituary Information – If not yet written.
List of Heirs and Beneficiaries with Contact Info
Health Care Directive or Living Will – For final medical decisions (if relevant pre-death).
Also may need the house keys, car keys, keys to any locked file boxes or lockers in the house.
FYI information like this can be found through a browser search.
The funeral home will probably order these from the appropriate county office for you. I got a dozen when my dad passed, but was then surprised that all but one bank took the one I gave them, made a photocopy, and gave it back to me. Or for insurance I simply submitted a scanned PDF with all the other forms online. So in the end I still have 11 of them.
As brother is as troubled and suspicious as you mention I would take your question to an elder law attorney ASAP. You know what is coming. Best to be prepared.
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The POA does have some obligation of course to supply to the executor basics of any documents, ID, tax information (final taxes and estate taxes must be filed). As to monthly records and so on, apparently and according to the internet those don't need to be passed to the executor. But as to wills, marriage certificates, account numbers and etc., anything that will be ongoing in settling the estate, home records, deeds and so on. All of these of course should go to the executor and there should be, imho, great cooperation.
You can easily find out the rights and obligations of POA upon death of principal by going to the internet and typing into favorite search engine "Obligations of POA upon death."
Good luck.