I am POA for my mother who is in an assisted living community. My brother is the executor of her will. When it came time to sell my mother's house (which we had to sign back over to her, as my dad put it in his children's names), he thought he would be in charge of selling it. I told him that I didn't want to handle the sale, but as POA I have to because Mom is still living. So he got mad and refused to help clear out the house or give Mom any money if she needed it. He also got mad that Mom and I chose the facility we did. He said she could have gone somewhere cheaper!
Anyway, considering all that, I want to make sure I have all my ducks in a row when the time comes to hand over documents for him to settle final estate requirements. I am looking for a detailed checklist, but can't find anything. I want to know what I need to give him; does he need all the bank statements, the house settlement documents, all the paid invoices? Should I make copies of everything for myself as "protection"?
Also, none of my siblings have asked me about Mom's financial status, like how much money she has left or anything. Should I be giving them a financial update once a year? If they asked I would show them, no problem. But since they don't seem to care and are mad because she is in an assisted living community that doesn't take Medicaid until her money is gone, do I just let it go so they don't give me problems?
You really have 2 questions: 1. What do I need to do now so that her estate can be distributed with minimum of hurt and angry feelings. 2. What can I do to ensure her estate gets distributed in an accurate and timely manner
Regarding 1. Letting all the people know what is going on with your Mom, where the money is being spent, etc,. what you are signing her up for, all the decisions you are making is a step in the right direction. For the really major stuff, like selling her house, I would send them a copy of the settlement and bills that you paid out from her funds. I would definitely send them a copy of her tax return each year.
Regarding #2, I believe it is in your best interest to carry out the transition as quickly and accurately as possible, to help the executor complete his duties. The lawyer fees and CPA fees could be quite high!
The IRS has some information regarding the death of a taxpayer as there are forms to fill out and people to notify: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/deceased-person
However, there is a lot more than that....all the online accounts (e.g. paypal, amazon, etc.) and the passwords. How about duplicate keys and where they are located At least with the financial institutions, one gets quarterly or yearly reports, so I would keep those.
A good book that is being circulated is Annette Kam's Wait Don't Die Yet! You could get the book from Amazon https://www.amazon.com/s?k=wait+don%27t+die+yet&crid=1PSVQE4XVTD90&sprefix=wait+don%27t+die+yet%2Caps%2C183&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 or you could download the bulk of the book and checklists from her personal website (for free) https://annettekam.com/downloadable-free-ebook/
I wish you well on this journey. This uncovering of assets and accounts and credit/debit cards, is quite a lot of work.
As brother is as troubled and suspicious as you mention I would take your question to an elder law attorney ASAP. You know what is coming. Best to be prepared.
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The POA does have some obligation of course to supply to the executor basics of any documents, ID, tax information (final taxes and estate taxes must be filed). As to monthly records and so on, apparently and according to the internet those don't need to be passed to the executor. But as to wills, marriage certificates, account numbers and etc., anything that will be ongoing in settling the estate, home records, deeds and so on. All of these of course should go to the executor and there should be, imho, great cooperation.
You can easily find out the rights and obligations of POA upon death of principal by going to the internet and typing into favorite search engine "Obligations of POA upon death."
Good luck.