My wife is developing cognitive impairment which is likely to become dementia. No formal diagnosis yet. We have wills and a trust, POA, and health care proxies. We also have LTC insurance.
Should I alert our attorney of this situation? Anything I (we) need to do before a formal diagnosis?
If SHE is your POA appoint someone else.
If she is designated to make any decisions if something were to happen to you change that.
I would also put in place a "Special Needs Trust" so that she will be take care of if something happens to you.
A word of caution about taking her to the lawyer. Make changes BEFORE a diagnosis. BUT if while talking to both of you if the lawyer does not think she is competent he will not be able to make changes that would involve her signing anything. So if you do this chose a time of day when she is at her best. Try to make the appointment as low key and comfortable as possible. (as a matter of fact if the lawyer would come to your home that might be better as she will be more relaxed.)
A couple of years later, once he was diagnosed by a neurologist with frontotemporal dementia, I contacted their attorney who asked for a copy of the letter from the neurologist, which stated my dad was no longer competent to handle his own business or financial affairs. I sent it. The attorney pointed out that my mom needed to update her documents again, to omit my dad as having any legal authority to make decisions for her were she to become incapacitated or pass away. She did that.
My parents moved to be near me (crossing to another state) and then my Dad passed another couple of years later (2024) so my mom had to update her legal documents yet again.
Good luck!
Get the medical diagnosis before talking to your attorney. That medical diagnosis can be included in all the other paperwork.
As the spouse, you will make decisions on her behalf, unless someone else is named as POA for her.
Relax, and take care of each other, knowing that you already have all your wishes documented.
I would question doing that. OP only said "likely" to become dementia.
Once it is diagnosed, everything will be limited as to what she can legally sign, if an attorney advises to make any updates to the legal documents.
I think the most important thing is to discuss end of life care while your wife is still capable of making decisions. Mum told the GP that she wanted a DNR in place - she didn't want any heroic measures taken, as she knew that it's better to try and have a peaceful death, rather than a long drawn out death, potentially in pain.
I was at the appointment and knew of my mum's wishes, which was helpful later.
This is a stressful time for both of you. One or both of you might want to attend a support group. Or one or both of you might benefit from professional counseling. Her or your PCP can probably recommend someone. Or if one or both of you are members o regular attenders of a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple, check with the clergy there. In addition to providing pastoral counsel, they probably can also recommend a qualified professional.
For instance, I was mom's guardian for moderate dementia and we both were in the doctor's office with her stating she would never want to go on dialysis