How do we get power of attorney for my father if he is still married?

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My dad's wife kicked him out 3 yrs ago and he has been living with me and my husband. She doesn't call or come see him. He was recently diagnosed with dementia. My brothers and I just want to be able to care for him without her involvement. Dad still loves her and won't file for divorce and she sure won't so she can get his social security check when he passes. What do we do?? Thanks for any advice given.

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Questions about whether or not she can get SS off his account are best addressed thru the SS Administration. If they've been married 10+ years and get divorced she most likely can draw benefits off his account (it does not decrease his benefits).
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Auree, you take him to MD appointments, right? They have the Health Care Proxy forms and they will witness them. You keep the original and they keep a copy. A set of Advanced Directives would be a good idea too, which the MD signs.
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Thank you. They dont have any assets. They were living with her mom when she kicked him out. I make and take him to his appointments and take care of him. We just want to be able to make the decision for his care when the time comes in case she wants to stir up trouble.
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Your question doesn't contain information about any shared assets your father might have with his wife. A competent attorney will discuss this. Should Medicaid be in your dad or his wife's future, those assets and how they are handled can enter into Medicaid benefits. I second the above recommendation to make sure you see a qualified elder attorney and do research on this site so you can get an idea of some of the things you'll need to be prepared for. Good luck to you and your family.
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Thank you
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You need to get him to sign POA power of attorney papers giving you control of his affairs. Anyone can grant POA to people other than a spouse or relative. See an attorney. Don't use some on line form.
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