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So..the time has come. We are in for a fight and we know it. FIL is currently in a rehab facility after a fall. It is still up in the air if he will actually return home. But that being said, his reminder that his license needs to be renewed came in the mail today. SIL sent me a picture of it via text when she got it out of the mailbox. Of course renewing it is out of the question. He is legally blind, he can't physically get himself into the car without us putting him there, his reflexes and response times even on his scooter are a hazard to everyone one around him. He hasn't driven in over two years. He KNOWS he can't renew it. His doctor has already told him that he can't. We know he will fight us on it. But we are prepared for that.
I had to go to the DMV the other day for myself and was advised that in order to get him a State ID in our state he actually HAS to come in the first time since he is changing classifications (after that he can renew it online ). There is no way around it. He has a current Military ID with picture. And we are starting to wonder if it is actually worth the trouble of taking him to the DMV to get the State ID at all and dealing with the fall out (it will take hours even with an appt, he has a urinary incontinence issue even with Depends, his scooter is the size of a lawnmower because he himself is a very large man, he has a tendency to run into things and knock into people because he thinks THEY are in HIS way, it will overall be a VERY bad experience and we are wondering if there is value to it.
Would the Military ID, being government issued, with his picture, be sufficient for anything that he would need ID for at this point in his life since he won't be driving? Does he really need the State ID as well? Is there something we aren't thinking about that he would specifically need the State ID for that the Military ID wouldn't be sufficient for?



We obviously aren't even going to address this until/if he comes home from the rehab. It's completely moot if he doesn't make enough progress to come home and has to be transferred to a Skilled Nursing Facility. We still have several months before we have to worry about it. But we are trying to plan ahead.

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Retired military ID works everywhere, and a passport would also.
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I know exactly how you are feeling.My mom and I had a difficult relationship... she was same with everyone, so it wasn't just me... but it hurt just as much anyway. My aunt came down and stayed with her when her cancer spread to her brain. God forbid she move in with Doris and Jim... oh no, it had to be HER way. At least Doris finally saw what Dad and I had been telling her for years. I'm sure mom was Bi Polar... so when the cancer spread... she was unbearable to live with. She had no place to go..There she was in a bed in her lviing room.Me and my kids had our own apt, but every day for weeks I'd get a call iI think she's dying... you better come home.. that went on for years... or so it seemed. Time went on, and I had Doris move in with me when Jim died... she was 77 at the time. I took care of her until she passed a couple of months after turning 89. She went on hospice that weekend. I thought it would be "and day".. she was nearly unresponsive on Sunday. Worst experience of my life... watching her die... she took care of everyone, she did deserve to die so hard. I loved her so much... always wished she was my mom... not the one I had, her sister. By this time I'd had 9 back surgeries.. and had I large house that I couldn't keep up.. paid people to do all the things I loved, moving, snowblowing, gardening, laundry, vacuuming.. I sold the house a year later. and moved into the apt from hell. I've remodeled house for 15 years, and not being able to do that is hard, I went with a spinal stimulator impla, which realy helped.. but I have excruciating my mid/upper back. It isn't worth living when all I can do is sit on my bed, reading and watching tv. Not what I had planned for retirement, that's for sure. I've been considering Assisted Living for several years. I can't cook, can't do laundry, can't keep up the apt.
I've been checking out assisted livinng online for almost 2 months. I bought 2 LTC policies back in 93 and 95....kind of forgot about them... I knew they didn't cover assisted living.. it wasn't around much then then....and I surely can't afford 3-4K a month
on my own.I've been searching all sorts of websites for fed and st gov regulations, to see how they've changed and there are lots of organization about LongTermCare with a lot of information.. I've talked to 2 companies that process claims for LTC.. so we don't have to go CRAZY.... sitting on hold for HOURS getting no where. I've talked to 2 att. both work with seniors/and/or low income... and they were'nt very optomistic of getting any help...Good thing I have't spent the money I made selling my house, but my kids sure could have used it. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to going into the ALF I finally chose... now I just have to wait for the apt I really want to open up. They only have 5 or 6 total in the unit... I met with the Sales Consultant the other day, and asked about the 2ADLs that my ins requires for AL, but I can't get in with 2ADLs in fact most of the other co. this is a disqualification. But, once you are in... you can be pretty assured you can stay as long as you need, they won't kick you out.. Go check out a few ALF find the ones you think he might like, maybe he needs nursing homes... they,ll let you know if he needs more car then they can take care of. They're pretty good at that. I hope you find him a nice home... sounds like I'm talking about a puppy. Lynn
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Hubbys driver ID expired and was told he could still use it as is. Since not driving no need to renew. Stroke changed his facial features too.
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As long as he does not plan on flying in the continental US, I don't think an ID matters. Lea's mother had her passport for ID. Better than State ID.

I had Moms done and I do not remember her needing it. She was not charging anything nor was she writing a check.
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BlueEyedGirl94 Dec 2022
He can barely travel 20-30 minutes by car (nearest airport is at least 30-45 minutes away depending on traffic and he couldn't get on a plane if his life depended on it). I can't imagine there will ever be a need to even attempt take him on a plane ever again. The last time any of us had to travel (my nephew's wedding) we had to hire caregivers 24/7 to stay with him since we were all traveling (by car) and SIL/BIL are primary and we are their backup. So I can't imagine that would ever be a concern at this stage of the game.
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BlueEyedGirl94, my parents used their old driver licenses, which had their photos, for ten years after it had expired. The only time my folks needed to show ID was at the doctors offices, and when they had new legal papers drawn up.
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You know what? I was POA for my parents for over 10 years and can't think of more than ONE time I needed to show ID for them, and that was when we were setting up the POA (I think)! They used expired driver's licenses and I think mom had her passport with a photo on it from the year one. They went into 3 different managed care facilities and didn't need ID. Dad got approved for VA Aid & Attendance benefits w/o ID. And the list goes on.

I wouldn't worry about it, and I would certainly NOT be dragging FIL into the DMV on his lawnmower sized scooter for a piece of ID he'll never even need. Money talks, not ID. As long as he can pay his way with a credit card or cash, nobody will care if he has ID!
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I know what the DMV said but when my husbands license expired in 2015, and he was no longer driving, I just continued to use it if and when at his doctors offices asked for it. I always told them it had expired and they didn't care because it still had his picture on it. I never had an issue using his expired license.
No one other than his doctors offices asked for his ID, and his expired license was used until his death in 2020, so if it were me I wouldn't worry about having to get your FIL to the DMV, as his expired license should be just fine.
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B.E.G., I live in a military town and it is a sufficient form of ID here.

I would ask the doctors office if they accept it as a valid form of ID, ask the rehab and hospital, ask his bank, basically anything that he does, ask them if they will accept it. Some may require a second ID, which I found a credit card always works for this.

Let us know what works out for you. Otherwise, be sure and guide him towards the staff at the DMV. ;-/
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