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He is 93 years old, diagnosed with dementia.


I have been his sole caregiver in our home for the past 4 months.


Caregiver burnout!

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Thank you so much for responding.
The issue about being on the “wait list” is there is no way of knowing how long.
He is 4th on the list, but basically waiting for someone to pass away. Only God knows when that will happen.
My FIL is very aware and cognitive about his situation, he tells us every day he doesn’t want to be a burden.
He is a WWII veteran and had a caregiver service coming to his home for the past 3 years. Bad experiences, had about 8 different caregivers, most of which did absolutely Nothing!
The one that was with him the longest, and actually took care of him, was fired after my SIL found out she was taking advantage of FIL’s giving nature...a 500.00 tv was purchased using FIL’s credit card. (I’m sure there was more)
I do not feel comfortable having a caregiver come into our home, we are renting at the time and although, we have an awesome landlord, past experiences have soured me.
We are actively looking for a place near us that has a month to month lease.
Again, thank you for your thoughts and concerns.
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Reply to Static
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Is there any idea how long it will be before the bed opens up in your chosen facility?
If it is a week or two I would keep him where he is, get caregivers in to help out. That will take pressure off you and the cost would probably be about the same as moving him to a facility for a short time. (If you can find one that will accept him for a short time unless you say it is for Respite they might do it then)
If it will be longer than a week or two then looking for a place that would take him for a month or more might be a better option.
It is not great to move someone as they get into a routine and another move in a short period of time might not be the best.
Is this man a Veteran? If so the VA might be able to help with caregivers? Not full time but a few hours here and there.
Are there groups in your area that would have volunteers that would come and sit with him for a few hours a few days a week so you can get a break?
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Based on my experience as a caregiver I think its best to get a caregiver for him besides yourself. It can really be overwhelming when you are caring for a family.
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Reply to Elle19
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Can he afford to pay a companion or caregiver for time away that you need? And ask the Memory Care place where he is on the waiting list. A compassionate, respectful place is  worth the wait, but not for a long wait.
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Reply to GrannieAnnie
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How long until a spot is available?

Moves are very hard on those with dementia. I would probably have to accept the best place that also had immediate availability.

Availability would be at the top of the must have list.
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Reply to gladimhere
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Check out respite care at local facilities. A lot of places also offer a free month if they think you will be placing your LO there.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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I'm sure no expert but would suppose so. Those places that I've talked to seem to be month to month both ways. Probably be some overlap on the monthly cost if you made the switch.
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Reply to qmnpxl
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