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Our 93 year old mom has been in memory care since first of November. DX is dementia of an ALZ nature, moderate stage.


When she first went in she was on skilled nursing. Now, she claims she has graduated from memory care and is demanding to get out.


We went to visit yesterday and maybe stayed 5 minutes as she began yelling at us. How awful we are to dump her there. It was best to leave as she was becoming increasingly agitated and told us to get out of her room. Her life. Her sight. Says it is a hellhole. Facility is not, it is very nice. She won't participate in any of the activities, which are Teepa Snow driven.


How do you handle this if you have been faced with it?

My mother was the same way except for yelling at me to get out. She actually even called her facility a “hell hole” too. Must be the age! (Mom was 92 when she entered the SNF)

Do not argue with her. Do not contradict her. If you walk into her room and she is “loaded for bear”, make it a short visit. Explain that you understand she is having a “bad day”, and you will return when sne’s feeling better. You really don’t need to tolerate her vitriol. Even with dementia, my mother understood that if she was nasty, I’d leave.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Bumping you up. A similar question is being discussed.
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