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Have you reach your zombie phase yet?


After a nightmare week I finally gave up trying to get a handle on my parents finances and Medicaid to get my mother into the Nursing home. I said to hell with it. Get her in and deal with the finances later.


There were endless calls to this nursing home over the past few weeks and too many people giving contradictory information. I was told by many people that there would be no problem. That her SS was all that was needed. That we’d have to pay the first month ($6800) then Medicaid would handle it. That there would have to be a spend down of finances. But when the time came and her clothes were packed and ready they refused her admission. They “own too much property.” An issue that had never once been mentioned in our calls.


The thought that this could go on for 3 to 10 more years has left me wandering the house like a zombie. Just numb to everything. I went from a few hours of feeling alive again to feeling nothing.

I am one for going to the source. It is so hard to talk on the phone I like face to face. I like being hands on no middleman. I had a lawyer because of Moms house, long story, but I didn't trust him or the NH to follow up with Medicaid. And, they hadn't. There are too many veriables with Medicaid. Too many different situations for NH staff to know it all. And I am not a big person on Social Workers either.

To be on Medicaid you can have no assets. They will allow a house and a car. With my Mom she had some insurance money left. So we private paid for 2 months which brought her down under to the 2K allowed in spenddown. Medicaid started 2 months later. All my Mom had left was her house which was up for sale.

Was Dad considered in this equation with the NH involved with Medicaid? All assets have to be brought into play. Not just money but all properties, shares, bonds, stocks, insurance policies. These assets will be split between Mom and Dad in a way that Dad has enough money to live.
Moms share will have to be spent down before Medicaid will take over care. With my Mom, I had from May 1 to July 1 to spend down to 2K or under. Paying privately for two months took Mom under. But if you want Medicaid to pay u only have 6O/90 days to find a facility and spend down once you file or u have to refile.

Now, you can put Mom in the NH if you can private pay until Medicaid kicks in. Get the Medicaid paperwork from the NH. It will have a case no. and a caseworker's name. Call that caseworker and ask if you can have an appt with them. Ask what paperwork you will need and explain there is a Community spouse. I am assuming Medicaid has already gotten 5 yrs of bank statements? I still would take the most recent.

If Mom has an insurance policy with cash value, not owned by a former employer, this will have to be cashed in. It can be used to prepay funeral expenses. Which I was told included flowers and the luncheon. If no policy any monies can be used for this purpose.

Now, when all is said and done, Moms SS will be used for her care. I would suggest that you allow the NH to be payee. One less thing you have to worry about. And if there are any problems with SS after Moms passing, then the NH will handle it.

If there is property involved and its jointly owned, you may need to get a lawyer versed in Medicaid. You can use Moms portion of the assets to pay for him/her. Medicaid allows this.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Just to add my two cents, I have found somewhat the same problem when dealing with Medicaid. I don’t rely on phone calls. Go to the facility and speak directly with their financial officer. Don’t leave until you are sure you understand what’s going on.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Too much property? Does she have rentals? If so, the rent from those should pay a portion of the nursing home. If not get them sold so she has those proceeds to pay for her care as part of the Medicaid spend down.

Ahh, I see there is dad too. He is worried what will happen to him, I would be too. Get dad to an elder law attorney, yesterday, for advice on planning! Mom is entitled to at least half of his assets, but Medicaid does not want to impoverish dad either.
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Reply to gladimhere
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