No pay and no R E S P E C T. How do I quit?

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You need to formulate a plan for escape. You need to have someplace to go, and if you have no job, some way to support yourself. Just up and leaving isn’t going to work unless you have friends or other family members who will take you in until you can take care of yourself. If your mom has been footing the bill for you, you need to be able to take care of your own needs on your own.

When you figure this out and all plans are in place, write your brother a “resignation letter”. Keep it very businesslike. No insults or accusations. You don’t want it to be used against you in the future. Just the facts. Your mother is his responsibility now and you are out of it. Permanently. Be aware that when you leave, that’s it. Make sure that’s what you want forever.

We have many caregivers who write and say they’re being abused, verbally and sometimes even physically. Mothers vs. daughters seem to top the list. And I have yet to read of a family caregiver who gets paid unless it’s from their loved one’s own finances.

You are welcomed to write us as often as you want, but understand that your future is in your hands. If you do nothing, nothing will change.
Helpful Answer (3)

I like "help formulate a plan". Like she's breaking out of jail.

If she is still living on her own it maybe easier to quit. Who has POA, hopefully you. You sit down with brother and tell him you are done. This depends on who has POA. If him, he has to set up caregivers for Mom out of her money. If that can't be done, an AL if affordable or NH on Medicaid. If you have POA, then tell him its homecare, AL or NH. Stick by your guns. Mom is not ur sole responsibility, Your responsibility is to make sure she is safe, clean, fed and cared for. Its not to take her abuse.
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rovana Aug 22, 2018
In reality, it is breaking out of jail.
I've read your earlier posts You wrote that you ended up with the job because no one else would take it.

You've done your time. Time for Golden Boy Brother to step up. Think how happy your mother would be to be taken care of by Golden Boy!

I don't understand why daughters are shoved into the caretaking role. You CAN quit. Do you live with your mother? Or she with you? Either way, this is NOT how life is supposed to be or how life HAS to be.

Tell us more, and we will help you formulate a plan to live your life apart from your mother.
Helpful Answer (2)

Is she dealing with dementia or anything of the sort?
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