First, to answer questions: My mom is 92 and in good health. She lives independently and brings in helps as she needs and is ready to accept help. I have the Medical POA. I live 10 minutes away. My siblings live far away and visit throughout the year. She see's her doctors regularly and none have diagnosed her with dementia nor see a reason for testing for such. I am listed as her POA with my contact info in all her medical records. While she has slowed down quite a bit, she remains cognitively healthy. I am 71 and in relatively good health, live with my husband who helps out a lot and have two dogs. After reading all your responses and talking to my counselor, I realize that I am doing all I can for mom and she is doing the best she can. I need to be satisfied with that and let her live life as she see's fit. We regularly discuss her wishes at any given point in the spectrum of her care, including what facility she wants to stay at if needed. I have a consultant ready when my siblings and I want a family meeting. I think I have the basis covered. So, it is with more reflection that I realized a lot of my anxiety about her physcial decline is my saddness about losing my mother. It is important that as care givers we are aware of our grief as we care for those in the last season of their lives. Now that I am reassured I am doing a good job as her daughter taking care of her, I can relax and enjoy our time together much more. Thank you, again for taking the time to respond to my story. I do feel much better.
Sue