I suspect my mom has always been suffering from depression/anxiety and is possibly bipolar. She is an alcoholic. She has been on Benzodiazepines for decades just to make it through life. I believe my dad helped keep her under control over the years. Well, dad ended up with dementia and I had to place him in a memory care home 2 years ago. Mom refused to take care of him and spent her days mostly drunk and passed out, so he started wandering, etc. and had to be moved out for safety's sake.
So, she lives down the street from me in their home, alone. BTW she's only 76 so not super-aged. We've been on a roller coaster of drinking, Benzo abuse and withdrawl, falls, multiple hospitalizations, 2 stays in a mental health center, etc. Right now she is hospitalized for the fourth time in 10 months because of falls & injuries from either drinking and/or prescription drug mis-management. Also, there have been regular suicide threats for years.
I am 51, work more than full time and am responsible for managing my dad's care because she refuses. I am also an only child. I suspect due to mom's basic physical health she will be in my life for at least another decade, possibly more.
For so many reasons, I cannot take her into my home, it would ruin my life. But I am stuck with her living 4 houses away from me. I don't know what on earth I am supposed to do with her in the upcoming years. She does not have dementia, she has money, she has a house & 2 cars, and persistently says she will commit suicide before considering assisted living or anything like that. She says she will "die in that house".
It's ruining my life. I can't properly live my life and I feel like my future is on hold indefinitely. If she lives as long as her mother did, I will be 70 when she dies. I can't handle this for the rest of my middle-aged years.
I guess I'm mostly venting, but if anyone else is dealing with a kook, rather than dementia, etc., I would love to know what & how you are doing.