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I am going on 10 years taking care of mom. LT insurance has run out. Mom is doing fine at 92 because I did darn good job but eventually her money may run out. I spend all I earn on household with mom pitching in at her request and with a document she signed with a lawyer. I would have been happy to let sister and husband take care of her and handle everything but they never did. It would have freed me up to resume my career. Thoughts????

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Your mother's money is there for her care. If there's anything left after she has been well cared for (as you are doing) and her life ends, then the family will get a cut. To be hounding you about inheritance is disgusting, yet as you can see from the responses, is not unusual. I'm sorry your have to put up with this. Just know that you are doing the right thing.
Carol
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Adult children have forgotten that they aren't entitled to any of their parents' money or property, they should be self sufficient by the time they are adults.
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Can you just tell sis that not only is there no inheritance but you don't even know if mom is going to have enough money to last her?
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My brother in law and Sister in law come around once in a great while to ask same question, we always tell them their inheritances are their family memories and if there is anything else to be had......that will be bonus and will be completely unveiled in the future!!
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I was just about to say what treatmenttime said. People think that they are Owed by our Parents properties/money. What our parents made in their lifetime should be used towards their care/health issues. If that money runs out, there's always the option to sell their house/land to pay for their care. I would not let the siblings who keep asking for their inheritance take over the care of the parents. I would not put it past them to "get" their inheritance Now, and then when the parents are broke, give them back to you to care for them.

So, when sister comes to visit to ask for her inheritance, tell her that your parents money is THEIRS for their care/health issues. Tell sis, that If anything, she should be helping with the parents. Then ask sis to do some errands (nothing to do with money). Or to help you change the pampers, the soiled room, etc.... Help sis see that it's not all roses caring for the parent ... but hard work.
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What inheritence? Your mother is still alive! Elderly assets should be used for their care and not saved for inheritences. This is the main reason why Medicaid Laws have become more restrictive in the care of the elderly. Gone are the days where assets could be hidden for future inheritences while the government picked up the tab for elderly care.
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So sad. What is going to be left? What does you sister think is even there? Maybe a nice long chat about reality would help.

Most of us don't get an inheritance. Look up the percentage of people who actually get an inheritance. Not many.

My husband's family was very different. His father was prosperous and exceptionally intelligent. He set up trusts, was open with his children and wanted his heirs to have what he had accumulated through hard work. They were well adjusted, took excellent care of my MIL and all got a nice inheritance. But they knew they would. They are very close to each other as well.

Don't let a small amount of money or misunderstanding ruin you relationship with you sister if possible. Be as frank and open with her as you can be.

In my family, mom has a good amount of money. I was raised to want, expect and know nothing. Only when dad died did I get any information about my mother's finances and only because my brother told me. Mom created lies to keep me in the dark, she thinks I want her money. I never asked about it except to be sure she would be taken care of. It has ruined our relationship because her lies get bigger every year. And it is all over "her" money.

Communicate with her before it is too late and keep records of what you spend in case she has strange ideas about you taking your mother's money. People are just crazy when money is involved.
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Debralee, but most people don't think like that. They think that the money their parents have is for them when they die. You read it over and over on this site how they wrestle the POA from the caregiver, splurge the money, and then return the parents back to the caregiver. Or take over POA and refuse to pay for their parent's care or NH because it would deplete their parent's money.

They think it's Owed to them.
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My brother thinks he is owed something too. He's a huge gambler and my Daddy would quietly pay his markers for him , for years , here in Vegas where we have all lived for years. When my Daddy passed over last summer , then my Mother became ill in Feb of this year I put her in a Group Home. My Brother is still asking about my parents CD's and money. I laughed at him when he went to the group home asking to take my Mother to the bank. He's a real piece of shit, I mean WORK. He's even called ( the state) saying I spend all my parents money on cars and jewels. We have not been away in ages and I drive a Honda Accord , he has a Mercedes and his wife a new BMW not us.
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Tell her that no money is left. That elder care is very expensive and that both of you are going to have to start pitching in $500 per month. That should shut her up. :)
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