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My husband, a Marine Vietnam veteran, has vascular dementia, so I will be his fiduciary and will take care of his income from VA. Any suggestions on record keeping and what is or isn’t allowed?

RDiane,
Just as a follow up to my initial post...I was initially very nervous about being appointed as spouse fiduciary for my husband's veteran benefits. I didn't know what to expect.
The VA representative who contacted me was incredibly nice and explained everything they needed and answered all my questions about my responsibilities as his fiduciary. Once I submitted all the paperwork, took the online course and answered their questions, I got a letter notifying me as the VA fiduciary. They informed me fully of what they expect of me. It's not as intimidating as it sounds.
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Reply to JanPeck123
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Diane, first off, thank you to your husband for his service and to you, being married to a serviceman is not a cake walk for their family and I appreciate the sacrifices you all made so we can live in a free country.

If you do not use a bookkeeping program, the easiest way to keep track of how you are using the money is to do a simple ledger, like an old fashioned check register.

Date:
Payment or deposit:
To or from:
Amount:
What it was for: ie VA deposit
Groceries, mortgage etc

Or you can do a write in on the bank statement to ensure each transaction has all the above information.

Record keeping is pretty simple if you just do it regularly.

Jan had some really great advice for how the VA functions and the assistance available to you.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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My suggestion is to research on the internet the rules for POA for state and federal and you need to know that your POA pays for expert advice; that's allowed and part of expenses. See an elder law attorney. I kept a running month to month ledger of every penny in and every penny out and a file box of receipts for all bills, medical and otherwise, payments and etc. I kept a daily diary as well. In ink, composition books with no tearouts legal in court.

As to the VA that is for you to privately research in your area; they have a good online site as well. Ask for all the help you can from their social services outreach. Wishing you good luck. If anyone here has negotiated VA I am hoping they will invite you to contact them by private message and they can perhaps share info for you as you come up with questions.

Good luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I am spouse fiduciary for my husband's VA benefits. He is also 100% disabled.
To be named fiduciary, the VA had me send them a list of our monthly expenses, and income. This was to ensure there's not more money being spent than coming into the household. Someone will talk to you about how long you have been paying the bills and managing the money, and if there is any help you need. There is a fiduciary course on the computer and you will be sent a link. There's 10 segments to the course, and each segment has a computerized test at the end. The biggest concern the VA has is that you are using his funds to get things hubby needs and to manage the household. Rent/mortgage, insurance, groceries, clothes, entertainment. They want to know the money is being spent wisely.
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Reply to JanPeck123
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Isthisrealyreal Jun 26, 2025
Jan, thank you to you and your husband for his service and your sacrifices so he could serve.
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RDianeSpriggs: Go to VA.gov.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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The other things I would suggest is read your heart out.
I would look for "dummies" books such as Veteran Benefits for Dummies. Check out how to act as a Fiduciary in your state online.
The internet and books are our friends.
No one on any Forum could every supply you the specific references you might need at the drop of the hat.
I acted as POA/Trustee for my bro; it is a job and you need guidance.
Wishing you such good luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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In addition to what Fawnby has said let me add this.
Look into whatever renovations the VA will do in order for your husband to remain at home. I know of several people (husbands 100%) had their homes made handicap accessible so that when a walker, wheelchair or transfer equipment was needed those items could be used safely.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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The VA specifies that their compensation is to be spent on the veteran. As his fiduciary, it’s your responsibility to make sure that happens. You can’t use the money for your own benefit, such as a cruise for yourself. And the paperwork they provided should say that the VA has the right to audit. It’s up to you how you keep the records, but since you may be audited, they need to be clear and accurate.
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