How do you keep siblings from getting more (undeserved) money from last parent's estate? - AgingCare.com

How do you keep siblings from getting more (undeserved) money from last parent's estate?

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I have a complicated situation. I am now in charge of my father's care and a disabled sister. I have power of Attorney over both of them now. My Dad is suffering from Dementia. So I was not able to get him to revise his will to his wishes. Both my parents were taken advantage of when they were both in a vulnerable state. (Car accident and stroke)One of my sister's in a 4 year period took all their savings and cash out of their accounts in a sneeky way (automatic Debit) and persuaded my mother to pay her bills for her. and even buy her a car. By the time my mother passed away (I believe from the stress of not being able to pay their own bills) They were $500. and $600. under on their accounts. Both thier savings were depleated and my father at the time of my mother's death didn't even have money to buy food. He says he knew this was going on but was unable to do anything about it because he didn't want to upset my Mom. He says he doesn't want to give my sister anymore of his money from his estate since she got everything else. To add to the drama I have another sister that refused to help with him and has said she will not be part of the family anymore and just wants to know when he dies. I have been left alone to take care of him and my disabled sister. I only want to do whats best for them. But I also don't want to see my unhelpful sisters profit from abandoning the family. I have just recently placed my father in Rehab and it looks like he may have to stay. I was wondering if I can sell his property to help him and my sister out with thier care and use some to help with my own housing situation and not be obligate to save anything to give to the two that have disowned the family? I know if my father had had more time to work on a new will he would have cut them out completely and left me with his property so I could take care of my disabled sister. But before his Dementia got the better of him he was convenced to just do a basic will and was planning on fixing it later with more details. What I want to do is I guess sneeky also but I don't want anything left to fight over with my siblings when he dies. So am I obligated or legally suposed to hang onto his property to divid up after his death? or can I sell everything off and do the right thing by my Dad and sister who really need the majority of the estate anyway?

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and humor has been documented as excellent way to relieve stress and burnout symptoms.
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ferris: Apologies have been made! We all make a mistake, now n then!
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Bluebird12- I'll bet you never got an answer to your questions, but certainly two of the writers have been having their own quarrel and inappropriate responses. Let's first address the issue of selling the house. Did your father "quit-claim" the house to you? I believe your POA will allow you to sell it (if you can find a buyer), and you can use those funds for your father and sister. I do not envy you being put in this position with your other siblings, and perhaps you can consult an attorney specializing in family dispute matters. Good luck!
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Sorry bluebird!!!! I sent you a message!
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Wow! I guess I opened a can of worms?
Thanks for the advice and words wisdom. I guess I got caught up in my Dad being angry with what my sister did. I know now that my only responsibility is to take care of him and use his estate to help him in his time of need. I will not worry about what is left over for them to fight over. I just felt bad for him and my disabled sister (who couldn't understand why two of her sister's couldn't act like adults and go to their mother's funeral.) I think they hated our Dad (and me for helping him) so much they didn't even think how not going would hurt our other sister. I have always been a very forgiving person and never let the crazy things my sisters did prevent me from trying to be nice to them. I remember talking to my Mom a few weeks before she passed away and her biggest concern was that when she went (her daughters would stop talking to each other). she knew that the other two had problems and would cary grudges and she worried no one would try to keep in touch with each other. I told her I would try but she knew they would not. I even talk to one of them around that time and told her what Mom said. And with no hesitation she said ( she's right ) which ment she was already planning on cutting me and others off. (very sad) But I know now I cant worry about them anymore and will just concentrate on the family members I have left.
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sunny-sorry didn't mean to be so aggressive...I just a lil fired up about this at the moment..thanks for the advice on the attorney...I am on the fence of it as I sed cause I have bad history with em rippin us off already....how do you get a contract up front when I don't even know what I need from them tell they review our stuff... kinda vague question but any input would be appreciated.
thanks
Luv, Juju
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Can't say I blame you. Much of it was for my own edification. I just hate to see fighting over our parents, family and loved ones. No one will win in this situation and It is so sad. Power of attorney would help take care of the current crises but without it, it is impossible in our state to supersede a will. But I hope what each one does for their loved ones is for love and not for an inheritance. And it sounds like there is not much money anyway, just a lot of legal problems. You can get help from your local Ombudsman office and free advice from their attorney's. And I have worked in law, and you need to be careful in selecting an attorney, many will rip you off. You need a contract up front, but Not an open check book. Enjoy your dinner. lol

Sunny
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Man we had a seafood feast few weeks ago at the beach...oysters crab shrimp cod n clam chowder!!! Yummmmm

but no I have never seen a mussel up close, I cant get the angle right on the mirror....lol
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moonbeam- undeserved is my story....when siblings attack and make parents life less comfortable by moving their hoarding storage facility into parents house while vacant, fill it so full there is barely a path to walk and then add a pack of bunnies running loose and their excrement and refuse to leave, make false serious accusations of abuse both physical and financial etc.....and open and rack up credit card bills and stick ma with the debt and bad mark on credit, I could triple your post with other examples so yes there are times it is appropriate to excersize some tough love!!!!!
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@ schmoombeam,
i aint reading all that, not even at gunpoint. im going to go eat dog with juju..
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