My sibling is DPOA (only because they are oldest & it's "traditional"). Over past 10 years they have done various things to align my mom's estate to their preferred way of doing things (including eliminating me from co-POA), taking over her investment accounts, trying to force her to move to an impossibly expensive Assisted Living, etc. My mom is still very much of sound mind and can make her own decisions, so she still remains her own "Power" as far as the DPOA.
I am the one who does everything-- drive her everywhere, take her shopping, clean, make her doctor appts, manage medications, decipher all her paperwork, advise her on things big & small. The DPOA sibling lives on the other side of the country, vists every few years, and only confers on the phone once in awhile with the investment guy, does her taxes, and will be the Executor.
About 15 yrs ago mom set up a CD account with "TOD" to me, to compensate me for all the extra things I do for her. She always told me to keep this our little secret and don't tell my siblings about it.
Well somehow, the DPOA got information about this account (worth about $20K) and is demanding it be included in the investment accounts.
Now, my mom has "changed her mind" about the CD account, that all her accounts have to be in one place, to make things easier for the DPOA and settling the estate.
I do know that it is her money, and she can do with it what she wants.....but, she did also indicate she wanted to compensate me for all the many years and thousands of hours of help I've given (for free).
When I expressed concerns about this major change, she simply said "you will get a check after the estate is settled." But how would I know if I am still getting the compensation that I believe is due to me?
My spouse says this is all wrong, and I believe it would be much easier to just keep the CD account as "TOD".
What possible reason could there be to include it in the investment account?
I've researched it and there appears to be no reason for this change, OTHER THAN, the sibling who wants to rule the roost is wanting to divvy it up between the siblings (which is not what my mom told me originally).