I really need someone to talk to and thought this would be safe and maybe give me some insight. My problem is... I talked to all my siblings before my husband and I moved back mainland to see if they thought they would have any problems with me taking care of our mother. Last year my father -in-law was dying from cancer in OK and my husband and I moved in with him until his dying breath. Hospice was wonderful by the way. This was only 7 weeks...When I got back to my Mothers home in CA, I was berated for leaving her so long when I promised to be her caregiver. I had a rough year all around but won't go into it right now. Things got so bad, my brother went off on me and brought back things from 50 years ago to complain about. I ran to my husband for a month to ND where he is working. All this accomplished was hurting Mom and myself. My brother and I sat and talked and I thought it is good to communicate. Last year my mother was in and out of the hospital for various problems and diagnosed with the onset of dementia. She had been walking around the house at night and fell 2 times (going to the hospital). We as a family were advised to sleep in the same room with her. I went out and got a twin bed for her room since I am here the most 24/7.This past month my Mother was in the hospital and my brother came came unglued again. He has accused me of being a selfish, self-centered bitch for wanting to go visit my son and new grand-baby in May. None of my siblings want to stay nights with mom and have to when I am gone. I also have a daughter on the East Coast and will have her meet me in MT to see her new niece and we can visit instead of me going to see her. I miss my family so much, I don't get to see my husband for 3 months at a time, my son and his family every 6 months and my daughter once a year. I don't feel like I am asking to much...my brother also said he and my sisters didn't know I would be going so often and leaving them to take care of mom. I don't have a problem with any of my siblings giving me some time, my one sister comes every Thursday so I can get a massage, which my husband said I need. My other sister works and is very busy but will do anything I ask. My brother used to do yard work and anything Mom needed, but now that we are not communicating, he doesn't come by except to pick her up for dinners at his house.He says he will do whatever I ask, but I am afraid to ask anything from the outbursts, he scares me. We had a family meeting to discuss Mom's dr. appointments, medications etc. and he showed his butt in that meeting also, but at least my sisters saw him in action. He said he needs to go to all appointments because he is the executor,advanced directive person and power of attorney for our mother. He said let me tell you what is in her will, and she can tell you right now she wants me to take care of all of it. Poor mom just sat there. I asked if we could go from here, today and forget all the past. All I got was.... and forget everything I have been doing for the 15 years you have been gone? I am done...I am here for my Mom, I made a promise to her and myself to never ever let her go to a nursing home. I will communicate through emails with my siblings but I am not here for them....Please anyone with any suggestions how to survive here please respond. Am a wrong to be done with my siblings, am a I being an arsehole? I won't get my feeling hurt they are hurting all ready. Thank you for letting me vent.