My mother has the beginnings of dementia and her health has taken a turn for the worse. This started late last Fall. Before this, my sister and other siblings would only see her sporadically. I would see her 2x's a week and my daughter would pop in every few days as she lives close by. My mother lives on her own but does have a health aide come 3x's a week to help with care during the day.
My siblings and I had a huge falling out 2 months ago because they were not pulling their fair share of the weight in taking care of my mother. I dealt with it and moved on. But then i got a new job and could no longer care for my mom the days I was, and I tried to switch the days, and my older sister flew off the handle and became very nasty and mean. She told me I wasn't needed at all and not to bother coming to see my mom. Bewildered, I let it go for a week to allow her time to cool off and to figure out what my set dates off were at work.
When I went back, I realized that she'd spread all these lies to my other 2 siblings and now none of them were talking to me and were not allowing me to see or talk to my mom. I was furious and called the cops when they wouldn't open the door and allow me to see my mom, I felt they were kidnapping her. When I did see my mom very briefly, she had a black eye and a bruised forehead. When I asked her about it, she said she fell and the wind pushed her. My siblings and I got into a bad argument about it.
The cops didn't take a report because they considered it a family matter and said to take it to family court. They didn't even bat an eye about the bruises when I pointed it out! Pissed about having the cops called my sister made up lies and got an order of protection against me! All I wanted was to see my mom and now she's on some crazy power struggle and does not want me to see her.
She and I have never had a great relationship, but we're family regardless. We all were getting along before all this, and now they all REFUSE to let me see my mom.
I considered filing for guardianship but I know they would contest it, and I was told it's a long and arduous process. My daughter has managed to make some visits to see my mom, but they're not nice to her either. They keep saying nasty things about me, and that I'm not needed. I've tried to call and talk nicely to them and see if we can work things out and they just hang up on me.
They are not in charge of my mom legally (at least not that I'm aware of), and they are constantly at my mother's house (purposefully) so I can't call or visit.
I'm at my wit's end about what to do. I just want to be able to see my mom equally, as they do. I cannot afford a lawyer to go to court on this, and I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Concerned Daughter in NY