Running out of patience- Any suggestions so I don't lash out? - AgingCare.com

Running out of patience- Any suggestions so I don't lash out?

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My mom recently fell and it was bad (she's fallen before)..we had to call 911 this time and she ended up in the ICU due to a collapsed lung and not being able to move due to her hurt leg. She then went into a rehab hospital they did a great job, until they sugar coated a fall she had with a Gait belt on. 17 days later, she's home with us (I had a house built so she could live with us). Anyway..she can't really walk so I have to wheel her around..bathroom trips, in & out of bed to her living room, anything. Then there is the..'my life is a living hell', 'I hate this', 'Why are you always in a bad mood?'GEE?! I've got help during the week while I'm at work (it's ridiculously expensive) and I'm the caregiver after work and on weekends because she doesn't want my stepdaughter helping her. I can't leave the freaking house because she might have to go to the bathroom. Any suggestions so I don't lash out at her or just lose my s@#t and put her in an assisted living. Ironic because as I type this...she calls my cell letting me know she needs to go to the bathroom...so much for a day off.

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Dear Victoria,

I know you are doing the best you can. When you feel you are running out of patience it is time to look at other options. I was there too and I desperately wish I knew my own limitations. But I soldiered on till I blew up at my dying father. It was wrong of me to let the anger and resentment fester. It is hard to help and elderly parent to the washroom. It truly takes a village to care for an elder.

I hope you will consider talking to a social worker or family therapist and see what options there are.

Thinking of you. Sending you hugs.
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Read your post and pretend it's written by someone else.
What would you say to them?

You sound "fried", I know that sound because I was "fried" too. For your own sanity, you must find other living arrangements for your mother.
Like Diana said, start looking after Christmas.
Your resentment will only get worse.
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Assisted living isn’t bad, I found one that my mom is very happy in. She has mobility problems and dementia but she’s doing better because of the friends she’s made and because she feels some autonomy there while she was at home she felt trapped and so did the rest of the family.
So start exploring your options the day after Christmas!
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