How can I remove my daughter (36) from my home?

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I will be 66 years old. My 36 year old daughter and her childrens father have separated about 5 years ago. She was pregnant when she left him. Now she has 2 boys12 and 5. She has a good job and received child support. Since her second child was born i asked to stay eith me until she recovers. She was very ill with toxemia. My husband is in NY so i told her to stay with me until he retires which was 2 years ago. On one of my husband's
Visit home, he saw how she talks to me. Very abusive and condescending. He did not like at all. I was the maid cooking and taking care of her children. I love my grandchildren. All she does is texting to this guy that i do not approve of. My husband warned me to get her to move out. I ignored him. She continued to emotional anuse me. I retired and receive social security and do have a P/T job. My husband got so upset with me that he gave an ultimatum. Its her or him. I chose my grandchildren. Not him or her because i do not want them to be on the streets. My husband file for a divorce in NY after 37 years of marriage. I am stuck with a mortgage and all the bills that goes along with a house.my daughter refuses to pay anything what so ever
She emotionally abuses me. She got engaged to this mo good. I had to find a full time job to manage and eat. The bottom line is i want her out. I cannot take it anymore. I have serious medical issues..
BP, diabetes, neuropathy, thyroid issues. The stress causes my BP to be constantly high. I cannot be the maid anymore. I do everything wash, cook, clean, pay all the bills and take care of her children. How can i remove her fromy home. I cannot deal with it any. Divorce because of the choice i mad. She refused to move and one of her friends told me she wants the house. She plans to put me in a nursing home.

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You can contact your local sheriff's office and ask how to go about an eviction, you can contact adult protective services for assistance/information regarding evictions-you may have to give her a letter stating she has 30 days to move out. It's not fair to you to be treated less than respectfully. You must care for yourself as you have several medical issues and I'm sure the stress you are under doesn't help. You might want to speak with a child advocate regarding the grandchildren. They may have some suggestions, you can ask without giving your name. Are you drawing on yours or your ex-husbands social security? You may receive more if you draw on his. This is something the social security administration can answer for you. This is a difficult situation because there are children involved. It's unfortunate that your daughter isn't responsible enough to be living on her own and caring for her own children. It's time she started. I wish you good luck.
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princessdi1024, some day you will find the house too large and/or too expensive to take care of and it will be time to think of downsizing.... hey, why not start doing that now... gather a lot of packing boxes to use for donating items you no longer use, including furniture, kitchen items, dishes, clothing, etc.

Daughter will see the boxes and wonder what is going on. Point blank tell her you are downsizing, thinking about selling the house, and moving to a 55+ community. Of course, daughter wouldn't be able to follow you there :)

In the mean time make a list of everything you do around the house, including line by line items of what you do for your daughter and her children. Take that very long list and cross off half of the items, and then some. Tell daughter this is what you will be doing for the household and nothing more.

Hold your ground. I know it won't be easy especially if you want a super clean house, try to ignore what is not being done. Daughter is old enough to do her laundry and that of the children, and to clean her room and that of the boys, and then some. And since she has saved a ton of money by not paying you and room/board, she should be able to afford to move into a place of her own.
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She has a job, so she and that children will not end up in the streets.
Call your husband. Tell him you will be evicting her. Follow up on eviction.
If you can make up w hubby, sell the house and move somewhere closer.....living in different states is not ideal...imho
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Definitely eviction should be strongly considered. When they are out, then you can consider selling the house and using the proceeds to support yourself in some kind of retirement community.

Eviction requirements vary by municipality. Often they must be adhered to even to remove someone who is not paying rent. Find out what is required where you live. And then follow the rules! If she refuses to leave a sheriff will escort her out after the due date of her departure.

If you have trouble finding out the rules or are confused by them, contact a lawyer.

It is your house. You determine who can live there.

As cmagnum says your grandchildren won't wind up in the street. And seeing how their mother treats you is NOT healthy for them.
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That's terrible. I have often wondered if i will be caring for my children into their adulthood. One imparticular. I wonder if they will drive us into the poor house because we have spoiled them already. I am sorry you are going through this. You shouldnt have to be in this position.
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Sounds like you have painted yourself into a corner.

Is there anyway that you could have her evicted?

You wrote, "She has a good job and received child support." Thus, she the children want end up on the street. With income and being 36, she can go rent an apartment.
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Would it be possible for you to sell the house and move to an independent living apartment? That would give you less to take care of, she would not have a house to take, and she wouldn't be able to put you in a nursing home.

I don't understand all the choices that people make, and sometimes I don't agree with them, but once they are made, it is useless to fret and second guess. Just get on with it.

If you don't take this bull by the horns and do something NOW, your apathy will just give her the time and ability to make the decisions and I guarantee that they will not be in your favor. You will not be happy with the decisions your daughter makes.

Your health issues will not improve in this situation you are in. There will need to be changes made. Will you make them, or will she?

Good luck, and be STRONG.
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