I ask my husband: "Are you finished in the kitchen?" because he doesn't like anyone else in the kitchen while he's preparing something. He'll say "You know I'm not. Why do you have to be so mean?". After that exchange, disgusted look included, I'm in the dog house; a very bad person who is ignored and prevented from access to common areas by his tying up use of things we usually share. Some dirty looks continue, but mostly he avoids "seeing" or interacting with me. Decisions that should include both of us are stalled, or I make a necessary decision which he sometimes hates, sometimes doesn't realize I've made one. Grudges will be held weeks or months later (or so it seems from the way I'm treated).
My husband won't recognize any impairment on his part to me. He has admitted this to his mother. He likes to be in control, thinks he's always right, is quick to complain and criticize me and our one son at home. Sons who don't live at home are treated like normal people as in the neighbors or any other acquaintance. I don't think he likes himself very much.
How can I handle this better?