My significant other's disabled mother is destroying our relationship. Any advice out there for how to sensitively deal with my significant other's disabled mother. She lost her husband a year ago and now lives with us. It is very evident she is depressed, but when we encourage her to seek counseling she refuses. It's actually gotten to the point she has begun to refuse doing anything for herself and completely relies on my significant other to take care of her on the days her caregiver has off. When I try to offer her my help she refuses or makes it extremely difficult. I'm also disabled and am unable to do something for her, which causes her to become snarky and backbiting.
With all her other behaviors such as drinking till she's falling and having incontinence, we are at a point now where my significant other is completely burned out and is interesting from me and our relationship. His mother causes arguments with her son who then unfortunately takes it out verbally on me.