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I rare ask questions because I want my parents to feel like they are in totally control of being at the doctor's office. Their primary doctor knows what to look for, and what questions to ask. If she asks a question she will look at the parent she is asking that question and while that parent is answering she will look at me to see if I am nodding yes or shaking my head no.

It's always interesting after the fact, being in the car with my parents and listening to them talk to each other about the visit.... makes me wonder if all 3 of us were in the same room :P
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parent acts helpless unless doctor is near
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Is it at all possible to contact with your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association or phone them at thier 24/7 helpline #(800) 272 3900? This to me sounds like a possible legal issue, anf the Association will point you in the right direction.
Best to you in your caregiving challenges~The advise is of no charge, and you have nothing to loose.
Hap
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unfortunately i am no longer POA or health/Proxy- ;my brother and
his friend-a financial adisor- are now theonly ones named-
i had been taking care of my mom for years, and always had a good relationship with herdoctors, because i was taking care for years, i always got reports,and knew about meds- iwas alwayswith her
to help explain and takenotes so we would know what was said.
mom became very angry with me-nasty-hurtful-i
she told me to stay outof her healthcare and she didnt want me to be involved with with her at all-etc etc
and so i left her alone, and told my brother who lives in mass and hasnt been very active in her care start to be more involved-i didnt realize then
that it was the begining of her dementia-
that this was the disease- it must have been during this time that
my name was removed from her health papers-i didnt find out i was not
her POA until the day shewent into thehospital-seems like
i wastheonly one who wasnt informed about this change.
so now,as far as keeping an eye on my moms care,and
knowing thespecifics, which i have always know-areno longer
availible to me-
very frustrating-especially since i am here-i question and question-
my brother isnt there but feels ---oh it doesnt matter-
the appt for today ,the social worker and an aide-(who once walked out on my mom because i was asking her to explain-she walked out of the apt. and was leaving! but evventually came back)- )they took her- and i couldnt go-well, i could have
but i think that it would have been too much friction-for mom and me-\besides, i wasnt told this until last nite, and i had 2 appts of my own scheduled and it was at the time the appt was made.
so i thank u for your help-
but i am getting tired of running intowalls everytime i express
any question about her care-from meds-to daily activity(is there any)-foods, removing and moving things-
anyway-i know it is about mom and not me- buti am begining
feel -well, like i said, it doesn t matter,
thanks you for taking the time to post-
sorry to waste your time.
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You might find this article from Caregiver.org helpful. It covers what happens at discharge and followup and has a great list of questions to ask at the end.

http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=2312
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Mymom has been in hospital several times, and a good thing is to keep tabs on all medication, most hospitals will prescribe medications that are not ok with primary and also not given regular medication during her stay.
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If you don't have this done already, please, please get your mom to sign off on a Medical Power of Attorney and take a copy to with you to the appt, so they have a copy on file. That way you can have access to whatever in the future. Depending onyour state, you may also want to have an "end of life procedures" form done and in the file too.

Your area council on aging should have them for you or you may be able to download from state govt (depending on your state). You may not need it now but this could be very important in the future.

As far as questions, it really depends on what she went to
the hospital for, surgery/accident/mental...etc.

Take clear notes and I would suggest take a mini recorder to that you can replay what was said. These are
now very cheap, some even under $ 50. This was suggested to me by a friend who is a court reporter - as it was just too much too fast for her (!!) because she's dealing with mom's input along with the doctors.
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I would DEFINITELY have the doctor review ALL her medications with her AND you - what is each one for, going over the dosage, time to take and what foods might interact with the meds. Also how the meds may change her personality and ALL the possible side effects that they may cause. This will help you and her. Also, the doctor in reviewing may determine that some are not needed or interaction between the drugs. It forces the doctor to review the meds if you ask all these questions. Good luck!
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