Mother is in LTC - Nursing Home. There are times when she must go see a specialist doctor, outside of the nursing home, for an existing condition, a test, or a new medical issue. I have to go with her; she is hard of hearing, she will not be able to remember why she is there (I am her "memory"), and she needs to be taken in a transport van because she's in a wheelchair with continuous oxygen. It's a nightmare every time, because it takes me 45 minutes drive each way to go to the nursing home and then for me to get back home, and half the time the transport van is late or doesn't show up at all. Cannot control that; it's free, from Medicaid, so you get what you pay (don't pay) for. But I do it.
Every single time she calls me in the morning and says she doesn't feel well and does she really have to go ? Sometimes, if she sounds very desperate, I say "no" -- as long as I know it's not an emergency appointment. But, I cannot cancel the same doctor twice. If you do that, they will not reschedule you.
Today, again. She called me early morning. Wanted to cancel same doctor that she insisted on cancelling a month ago. I said she HAD to go. All the doctor does is specialized blood tests which he analyzes right there -- it's for a blood issue. But not the kind of blood issue they can diagnose in the nursing home.
Cannot hire even a trained CNA to go with her because then nobody will be able to answer the doctor's questions and nobody will remember what he says.
I am so tired of this. I have to go through the same conversation and encouragement and convincing every time. And, then the nightmare of the transport van and her complaining the whole time about how long she has to wait for the doctor, and the van to come back.
Help, please. At what point do I just throw up my hands and somehow get it on file that she is refusing medical treatment if she insists on cancelling or keeps begging me to cancel. I am her POA and medical proxy. But, she is not declared incompetent or incapacitated.