About 10 years ago, my dad who had Parkinson's, decided to give my brother $150,000 towards the purchase of a property that had a small house on the grounds that my parents would live in when up north. None of this was documented in writing or with an attorney. My dad simply told me about it, and said I'd get my share of that further down the road. I didn't think it was a good idea, but my brother had always been rather detached from them so I thought maybe it would be a good thing and he would be right next door so more involved. They own a condo in Florida anyway where they spent 7 months of the year. For the Mass. house they paid all expenses and utilities except property tax, paid all the landscaping for both houses and did some upgrades like finishing the basement and rewiring the electric. Long story short, my brother had serious financial problems, marital problems, and substance abuse problems. Proceeded to borrow from my parents and then from my mom once my dad passed away in 2015.
He currently owes my mother $65,000 and has now sold the property (which contained both houses) because he could no longer afford it. My mother will stay in Florida, since she has no Massachusetts home anymore. She got no proceeds from the sale of the property. I am seriously worried about this situation and have been for some time. I told my brother so and asked when he might be able to pay my mom back and he raged at me in such a hostile way that I have not wanted to speak with him and have resorted to only communicating in writing so he can't upset me. He said some very mean things. He basically thinks he doesn't owe my mother back the money since he delayed selling the house in order to "care" for them, causing himself financial struggles, and so they essentially owed him that money anyway! So, my question is, do I have any recourse to try to get some of this money back for my mom? I do have a promissory note he signed (but that was not notarized) saying he would pay her the $50,000 upon sale of the house. He has not done so. Her savings are seriously diminished such that she could not afford an assisted living anymore and probably can't stay where she is for too much longer since it's an active senior golf community. Aside from the financial piece, I am very angry about how all this has come to pass , particularly since my mother continues to cover for my brother, make excuses for his completely unacceptable behavior, and generally stick her head in the sand about how dysfunctional he is. How can I cope with feeling this way and also deal with my brother as needed regarding my mom's care and financial situation?? Am open to suggestions. Thanks for listening....My poor husband is tired of me talking about this.