Does anyone have a parent who is able to care for themselves but doesn't want to?

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I don't want to say too much more because I'm afraid of being judged like I have been on other sites.
She's 1200 miles away because she chose to move 25 years ago. I was just there 3 months ago and found her physically & mentally capable of living independently and was even driving friends to their doctors appointments.
She's laying a big guilt trip on me and I am finding myself feeling resentful. I have A LOT on my plate which she is well aware of and if she truly needed care somehow I would step up to the plate but just because she doesn't want any responsibilities anymore why do I have to take them on when I have far too many of my own. I feel like I could have a nervous breakdown.
Can anyone relate?

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DEMENTIA....im just a caregiver of a dementia patient but for me dementia means that physically u can take care of yourself, but the disease prevents you from taking care of yourself.. maybe not a clinical definition but if i think of it that way it sinks into my thick head
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You are being manipulated by her and this is an early sign of dementia. If you go, she will end up controlling every minute of your life, throwing a tantrum and declaring her imminent death if you try to take time off for yourself. Tell her to move to assisted living or a senior apartment. She made a choice 25 years ago and she will have to deal with it on her own. Place that boundary now, you have no reason to feel guilty for choices that she made.
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