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What can the most serious consequence be? Being 77 years old and financially needing to work 1 to 2 12 hour shifts a week, I need his physical strength to do things like shopping, cleaning, heavy lifting and running errands for me. He is also a full-time college student but is able to do the above for me. I’m going to put him as a caregiver but was wondering what the consequences will be if they tell him to leave and I don’t.

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I live in a senior condo complex. Family members cannot move in. They can visit for overnight 3 nights a year. If they live a more than 500 miles away the can stay for a one week vacation. Caregivers have to be thru an agency and must have a doctors need certification.
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Reply to UsedupDIL
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I agree, he can't be classified as a caregiver because you still work.

Yes, read your contract very well. If there is a Home Assoc., I would run it by them. I would do everything by the book. The whole thing about a 55 and up is no children or partying young people.

Good luck and come back and tell us how it works out.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Look at your bylaws. I live in a 55 Plus community. My single son can live with me as long as he is 21 years of age. If your bylaws say no. You can try to get them changed depending how rules apply. Usually it takes a community vote.
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Reply to MACinCT
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If you can work, he cannot be classified as a caretaker. I live in a 55+ community and some try and sneak their grandchildren in because it is a convenience for the grandchild, saves on rent and so on. They always get caught and in some cases the senior is evicted.

Only you can decide if it is worth it to you. People who live in 55+ developments because they don't want to deal with younger people, so most likely someone will report you.
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Reply to DollyMe
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He’ll be asked to leave. As far as your own consequences, read the contract you signed. You would be lying if you said he’s your caregiver. What you have described isn’t caregiving, it’s a live-in housekeeper. If your lease agreement doesn’t allow for a live-in housekeeper, then....one or both of you will be asked to leave.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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Your lease should cover this. If you are renting, you might very well be evicted. Most 55 and older communities are pretty strict in their by laws.....especially since you don't need live- in around the clock care. Keep in mind you signed either a lease agreement or an acceptance to the by laws if you own your unit. It is a contractural agreement and was signed with the intent of upholding. Many of my friends live in these communities and they adhere to the restrictions imposed. Mostly because if they give in to one, they are obliged to accommodate the others. Then what would be the sense of having rules to begin with?
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Reply to Abby2018
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The worst case scenario would be that you are asked to leave the community, or that he is asked to leave..and if he does not leave you would be asked to leave. Possibly fines and court costs would be involved as well as the community would probably file for eviction.
You should look at the by laws of the community and see what they say. Is someone under 55 able to spend the night at all or is there a limit to the number of days a week?
If this is not addressed in the Home Owners Association by laws ask at the office where you can find the information.
Talking to an Elder Care Attorney might be appropriate.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Chickadee77 Oct 27, 2019
Thank you for the non-judgemental response. I really appreciate it. Have a wonderful day
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Look at your contract you signed when you moved in. You could also ask an Elder Attorney with a free consultation.
i would not let him move in until you find an answer and then get that in writing so they can’t change the ruling.
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Reply to MollyMae2
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Chickadee77 Oct 27, 2019
Thanks so much Molly me I will do that.
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I agree with gladimhere, see if it’s addressed at all in the agreement you signed. In my experience these communities are all a little different in what they will and won’t accept. Many have a percentage of population or units that can be under 55 because everyone would rather have units occupied rather than empty. I remember someone asking about the age limitation here because they had inherited a parents unit and wanted to live there but hadn’t quite reached 55 yet or something (person was maybe 53-54). After reading the agreement you signed ask around about how tolerant the administration and your neighbors are. My guess is a lot will have to do with how your neighbors feel about it, if they aren’t complaining the powers that be will likely leave well enough alone. Hopefully your grandson isn’t really around using any facilities much and or is helpful and generally liked by the other residents or just not noticed, depends on who he is, just make sure you both stay aware and away from things that might rub people the wrong way (not that you can please everyone) and unless your place is particularly stuffy my guess is you will be fine.
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Reply to Lymie61
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Read your lease.
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Reply to gladimhere
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