Hi,
I am a 33 year old guy with a wife and 13 yr old stepson. I don't yet have any kids of my own, but would really like to have one or more if possible. I am concerned that I may have to become a caregiver soon. I am stressing because of the possible amount of people who will rely on me for care.
My dad has an almost 20 year history of having strokes and is now on dialysis and is in the hospital almost monthly for various problems. His mental function is declining and he is fairly lazy in wanting my terminally ill mom to wait on him hand and foot and to clean up after him when he vomits. He also has pretty poor eyesight and can no longer drive. At times, he even needs help eating.
There is no way he could funtion on his own when my mom passes.
My mom is currently battling stage 4 cancer and is doing chemo to really try to give her a bit more time here. She is weakening quickly and may need alot of help soon.
The thing that really complicated things is that my brother has lost his eyesight and is legally blind. He knew for years that he had diabetes, but never tried to take care of himself. He eats like crap still. He is on dialysis and is also in and out of the hospital. He has no wife or kids so once again, it may fall on me somehow to take care of him soon.
We have a really small house with a tiny spare room. Ideally that would be the babies room, but we may very well have to turn it intoy mom and or dad's room instead. That would leave no space at all for another child.
This probably sounds selfish, but I think I should be able to have room for another child if we want one.
Your parents both seem like they could arrange for their own long term care, I would encourage that. If one should happen to go to the hospital, it is easier to get them placed from there. Keep stating to the doctors that they cannot go home.
Good luck. Take care of yourself.
Start researching facilities for both of them and as Chicago says, if they go to the hospital, say they cannot go home. The hospital folks may push you to take them (it makes their lives easier). But that's not what you want or need.
Spend some time on here and look at all of the stories about what a nightmare it can be to move family members in with you. The fact that neither your dad or brother show any inclination to take care of themselves makes it even more important for you to set boundaries. They'd be happy to have you take over and take care of them. Don't do it.
Also I would like to say that children can share rooms.
Your brother, contact the services for blind in your state. They can help him find housing and assistance. Since he is or will be blind he can qualify for disabled housing and assistance...not your problem.
There may still be a great deal to take care of from afar without being the primary care taker.
Save that room for babies! Stay connected on here and Best wishes!
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/not-everyone-cut-out-to-be-a-caregiver-162192.htm
Your children will likely support you 100% in this, I'm sure that they are concerned for your wellbeing. Leave the man to the cousin he prefers.
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