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I’ve posted on here before. My mom is in independent living however has gone downhill memory-wise quickly. She is also ESRD, however is just under the cut off to qualify for hospice with her creatinine. Has to be 8, hers is 6.8.
Everyone notices at her current place that she has no business being in independent living. But we will run out of money VERY fast with AL.
She cannot live with us as we both have to work, and are raising our 14 year old daughter and our home has stairs everywhere that will completely be a danger.
Do people end up simply having to move into nursing homes paid by Medicaid (and I realize that is an application process) once all other resources are tapped?
Also, does anyone recommend a company like “A place for mom” or something like this?
Thank you in advance!

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Get get her wait-listed NOW s a private pay into the best nursing home that accepts Medicaid that you can find. When she is truely end stage, she will become more sleepy and require a higher level of care. Yes, she will spend down fast however since she will already be in a Medicaid facility, filing the paperwork and getting her accepted should run smoothly. Avoid a Place for Mom. There is already a second class action lawsuit for unfair pracices going on now. You might consider finding a local geriaric planner to assist you but your instructions will include doing some footwork. Start here for homes https://www.medicare.gov/nursinghomecompare/search.html?
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Reply to MACinCT
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I know it's stressful trying to figure out what to do. I'd first make sure you have all properly signed documents like DPOA, HCPOA, Advance Healthcare Directive. I'd take them to an Elder Law attorney for review, to make sure things are in order. AND, make sure they are well versed in Medicaid rules, so they can evaluate her for Medicaid or other types of income/asset based programs. They can help by letting you know things to look out for and asset protection. Once you get that straight, I'd inquire into the programs. Or, if finances are not an issue, I'd inquire into getting an assessment and exploring locations for placement.

In my state, most all programs, benefits, etc. are handled initially by the county dept of social services.( It may be handled differently in her state.) They accept all applications for federal and state run relief. Some people hire professionals to help them apply. I think sometimes even attorneys may help with this process. Other times, the social worker may help you. Some programs require proof of income and assets.

ALSO, some programs require written documentation from a doctor about a person's mental or physical condition that requires Assisted Living, Nursing home care or Memory Care. Some states help pay for Assisted Living, and I've been told some states don't. I'd make sure her doctor is aware of ALL the things she can't do, so she can be properly evaluated. Most states require a professional assessment to determine the level of care the person requires. Often having a disability like dementia, opens up more resources. Relying on your mother to give answers would not likely be a good idea, so, you would need to be present when they do assessment.

I'd spend ample time with her so you can really see what she can't do. Is she really bathing? She may claim to, but, not do it. Is she able to properly take her meds? Is she incontinent? Some say yes, but, their underwear says otherwise. I'd observe her so an accurate picture can be reported.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
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I wouldn't recommend a place for mom. They were the nastiest people I have ever had the misfortune of dealing with.

They don't care about anything but getting their commission for what they think is a service. You would be better off using a phone book.

Contact your local counsel on aging and ask them for assistance in finding agencies. They will help you find the best services for your mom.

Have you considered a board and care home? They tend to be a lot cheaper and provide more services than an assisted living facility. They just don't offer all the activities that you find in large facilities. I volunteered for my dad's by cutting everyone's hair and bringing in deserts for fellowship.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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This forum is operated by "A place for Mom". They can recommend IL and ALs but they still cost money.

You may want to do what I did. I placed Mom in an AL with 48k in the bank. Her money would have lasted a year. I started the Medicaid process 90days before her money would have been gone. It was suggested that I take her remaining money and pay for LTC for 2 months. This brought her under the Medicaid cap of 2k in my state. I did this and it made transitioning her to longterm much easier. We told her in both instances she was going to a new apartment.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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