So my MIL (84 yo) has been living with us for 18 months now. She moved here (MI) from Florida because my BIL was concerned about her living alone after FIL died. It was supposed to be short term. I started looking for places for her right away. I thought she could live alone (I work in skilled nursing facility so very familiar with levels of care and requirements for each) so I gave them addresses and applications for IL places. They would only look at AL! ...... 6 months later she was still with us and no decision had been made! I had people from the Waiver program come and do an assessment on her about that time. They said she didn’t qualify for services because she’s too independent (has no care needs). ........So fast forward to last month when she had a neuropsychological test completed and the doctor determined that while MIL does have some mild cognitive decline, she can be safe in IL. My husband refuses to look at independent senior living apartments because he’s afraid his mom will get lost or catch the building on fire or who knows what? (Because she made a wrong turn when walking in our neighborhood one time and got lost, he now thinks she can’t find her way around) A neuropsychologist, the waiver people, and myself, have all explained to them that she will be ok. She is relatively healthy (did have a couple TIA’s but is now on medication) and could live another 10 years!!!
I am seriously starting to resent her being here when I know she is capable of living on her own. What do I do?!? How can I get him to move her to an appropriate place?
Tell me, is MIL an independent personality type? Does she have the drive to do what she can for herself? Cook, shop, household tasks? Or is she more happy being 'the guest' in your home?
I'm picturing a certain type of MIL, living say 10 mins away from you in a 'senior independant apartment' but needing family to shop, clean, prepare or bring meals. (Basically still being dependant on you but at a different address).
What are your thoughts on that?