I have chronic pain, really bad, depression/anxiety so severe with lethargy, but I drag myself an hour each way to be with mom on weekends. I swear, she's been the energizer bunny full of health and the one I turn to until last year. (no teenager could keep up with her) I have hard time with my own life, I can't think or focus on top of pain. I do have private disability I'm sure I'd qualify for, but I'd lose my insurance? I decided in January, I couldn't take the pain anymore, and I would do whatever necessary, got all new MRI's & have spent last 5 months going up and down a building seeing Spine doc, (said he can't see anything surgery could help, try injections, which backfired) Knee Doc: knee is mess, but just injections there too, and then FOOT Pain unbearable came after knee injury, I think from walking like a drunk duck, but Knee Doc, didn't know problem, so injections there too. 14 cortisone injections, and I'm not much better off.
I NEED and WANT TO BE THERE FOR MY MOM.
MY QUESTION? My job is so stressful, (miracle I have one with my focus issues and depression). I wondered, has anyone experienced a similar situation, but found a huge release of tension/severe anxiety constant fear and pain by letting go and just trusting God? The Long Term Disability would pay enough to make it, it's just the insurance, at 62 I will have none. I've been under pain management 19 years, just never feel well. I live an hour away from Mom, for 35 years it's been my prayer I'd be able to think clearly and physically as well as mentally be able to be what mom needs. I've been going up on week for 19 years, and the schedule is killing me, my own home is just let go as I'm never home. Any input or experiences from ANYONE would be appreciated. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO, and by letting her down, my depression is only worsening.
God Bless anyone reading this............ thank you