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I have a sister that would need to take charge if I can no longer act as Power of Attorney. I told my Mom who is 94 & in a nursing hhome.......but she wants me to be the POA, not my sister. I have a lot of medical issues & need to take care of just myself. It has become to stressful for me to take care of everthing! What should be done in this case? Any advise would be appreciated!

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Daffey, do you mean you don't want to be the "Executor" of Mom's Will?

I assume you are currently Mom's Power of Attorney, and that will stop upon her passing. Actually it is up to your Mom who she wants to represent her as Power of Attorney. If Mom has any memory issues, chances are she wouldn't be able to draw up a new Power of Attorney to appoint someone else.

What are you worried above between now and the time your Mom should pass? Have you been the primary caregiver for Mom before she went into the nursing home?
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There is no POA of Moms will. POA stops at her death. Exeutor of the will takes over. Think u can give up executor but that is a question for probate. Is your Mom of sound mind, then she can change POA. If not, she can't assign someone else. Is sister willing to take it? Mom is in a home? Is she on Medicare? If so what responsibilities do u have? If my Mom didn't have a house my only responsibility would be to visit my Mom. Even with the house, taxes and utilities aren't being paid so Mom will lose the house. If ur Mom is in spend down with Medicaid no upkeep on a house can continue.
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My Mom lived in my home for 14yrs. I have always taken care of her finances & other medical issues. She does have dementia....... but is still able to voice her opinions! She has been in a Nursing Home for 16 month on private pay, but will need to be on medicaid very shortly!
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Have you considered setting up a conservatorship through your state? I'm not sure where you live but they can help appoint someone to oversee your mothers finances which could help ease some of the stress that you are dealing with.
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Daffey
Have you filed for Medicaid yet? Is that your concern? Is your sister already listed on the POA as secondary to yourself? If that's the case, read the POA and see if provisions are made as to how to resign and pass that responsibility to your sister. Does your mom have valid reasons to not want your sisters help? It's not unusual for elders with dementia to have favorites due to no fault or superior service by the rejected one or the favored one.
As POA you don't have to do everything yourself. You just need to see that it is done. If, for instance, it's the filing for Medicaid that you don't want to do, you can use moms funds to have an elder attorney or other qualified professional do that for her. Ask sister to accompany you and help with any errands required.
Medical POA is also important for end of life decisions. Perhaps you are concerned about any such decisions that you would be required to make?
Regardless, if mom is competent she can revoke and reassign her POA at will. You can also resign. But if mom isn't able to choose another, you may be opening the door for more aggravation to yourself and your health concerns. Ask sister for help. Consider hiring professionals to take over your duties. Get professional advice. It's good you are wanting moms affairs taken care of while you deal with your own health issues.
I hope you feel better soon.
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