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Power of attorney for my mother with dementia by sibling who does not have permission. I am a full time carer for my mother, who has cancer, vascular dementia and other illness, so she is wheelchair bound. My siblings do not help or visit mum, and do not talk to me. Both are driven by money, and are very sneaky to put it mildly. Last year one visited, and tried to get mum to sign some power of attorney papers without my knowing. Mum did not sign. No one has power of attorney for mum. Today mum received a letter saying my other sibling had requested mums bank account be made paperless. But this was from a bank that mum has no dealings with, and has never had an account there. She is very loyal to her own bank, where they know her and look after her. Alarm bells are ringing. Where do I go to find out what my sibling are up to? I love my mum, and caring for her is a struggle enough, with out having to cope with tricky siblings. Any help and advice would be gratefully received. Thank you.

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Thank you for your reply. Lots to think through and do. Much appreciated.
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Also take your mom to her bank and have them tell her the best way for her to have protection on her bank account. She also needs to make sure that should she become incapacitated that her bills could be paid. There are several threads on this site about how when an elder has had a stroke or concussion or other health event the POA has a difficult time paying their parents bills because the bank won't accept their POA.
The thing is that even though your siblings might not be the ones mom would choose to manage her affairs, she does need someone and she needs to know the rules of her bank to enable the person she chooses to take action when needed. Since she's in a wheelchair it might be easier to call them first and discuss the options before taking her to sign papers. Sometimes a bank will allow you to bring the documents home for a signature. Additionally it's a good time to think about her wishes for her burial etcetera. It's good to get all these things taken care of sooner rather than later. Less friction for all. You may find the siblings have already been asking questions at the bank.
Good job on looking out for mom.
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Contact an elder care attorney and have them draft a durable and financial POA with you as the executor. You, your mom and the attorney can sign. Then it won't matter what your siblings are doing.
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