Hi AC forum - I’ve always found you to be helpful & supportive. This wound up being a long, babbling rant. Truly appreciate it if you make it through.
Some of you may recognize me, I’ve posted a few times. I’m 25, was finally able to move out of my narcissistic mother’s house in January, and life has generally been a lot better for me.
However, my mother has gotten MUCH worse. She was laid off of work (bringing in new roles to replace her old one), and that took a toll on her. But because she’s a narcissist & from the baby boomer era of “my children are supposed to grow up and their career is supposed to be taking care of me”, she denied that there was anything wrong with her. Depression set in, and my 66 year old mother went from walking okay with a cane to not being able to do a lot of things herself, is almost at the point of needing to be in a wheelchair in an assisted living facility, and goes to the hospital for attention. She has become completely unreasonable & LOVES to scream and shriek and yell about literally anything and everything because she can. She’s basically a big toddler. One time recently, she was “falling” despite using her walker - I tried to help keep her upright, she decided to give me ALL of her weight (roughly 180, and I’m 5’1” and 105 lbs) and FELL ON ME. Called the cops to come help her up, and they were more concerned about her than the fact that 180 pounds of dead weight had just fallen on top of me.
She has been physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive to me for my entire life. You’d think that on the off chance I come home & sleep in my old room for a night out of convenience, she’d be nicer. Nope! Two nights ago, she got kept overnight at the hospital, so my brother asked me to travel 1.5 hours home to help take care of the dog (who I will be taking as soon as I figure out an arrangement for a dog walker/day care for a disabled pup). I didn’t get home until after midnight, hasn’t eaten dinner because I was at work, and went to bed at 2:30am. Had to get up at 6am and commute 1.5 hours to work.
Mom decides 1am tonight is a great time to have a hissy fit and tell me that my exhaustion does not matter (I’ve been doing overtime at work). Didn’t get her way & punched me multiple times, once in the throat. I have called the cops on her before and she has claimed “elder abuse” and I’ve been told by the cops that *I* could be arrested.
Personally, I am ready to cut all ties with her once I have my pup. My brother, on the other hand, is not at that point, and if I cut all ties with her, I would be putting a huge strain on the only family I have left (Dad passed away years ago, brother is the only other family near me). Even when I’m not around NMom, she calls incessantly - easy enough to block calls until my brother starts texting me to call her. He is fed up too but is really the caregiver because he lives closer.
I just am at a loss. I’m ok when I’m not around her, but she makes me a sobbing depressed crazy person when I am around her. I miss my dad so much, as we were peas in a pod, and it just makes me so bitter and angry that he had to die instead of my miserable abusive mother.