Hi all, I'm back, after several months off of here, but everyone was so helpful last time. In the time I've been off of here, I successfully moved out and have been doing much better. I've been home for visits (mainly because I miss my pup who still lives with my mother - working on getting my aging dog to come live with me instead), but being away from my mom most of the time has been exactly what I needed. However, my narcissistic mother was upset that I moved out. She wanted me to stay at home until she found an aide (originally for companionship, but she is 65 and her many ailments are quickly incapacitating her, and she's getting forgetful), but my sibling and I nixed that idea very quickly, as we both knew she would never look for care if I had stayed. (Now she says looking for care is our job, but she just doesn't want to do anything herself, and that's always how it's been.) Because she's lonely now and lacks any ability to call her "friends" or ask for help, I get stuck with the calls out of boredom. I am a 24 year old trying to build a life and a career and, you know, be able to act my age for once. I had to grow up very quickly when I was young because my dad (deceased now for a few years) was at work all the time and my mom wasn't a good parent - laundry, cooking, and when I got older, cleaning and the like. We had a few deaths in the family, including my dad's passing, and ever since, I've been the adult and my mother has been the child. I felt like I was living out my 40s in my early 20s, and so I'm taking the time now to live my life the way *I* want to and need to. Unfortunately, making time to see friends, date, go to work, cook, clean, etc. doesn't mesh well with my mom's idea of how I should be spending my time. I often don't have anything to say to her on the phone because my days are pretty unexciting right now. Recently had emergency surgery done, so I'm not allowed to do anything active or strenuous, so right now, it's work, errands, maybe seeing some friends, home. My job entails talking to people all day, so by the time I'm done at work, the last thing I want to do is have lengthy phone calls with my mother, where the call will be her complaining, asking me what she can do to entertain herself, or her just sitting there in silence. Any suggestions for curtailing the frequency of these phone calls? I don't mind talking once or twice a week (ideally it would be twice a month, but we're not at that stage yet), but she wants to talk every other day, if not every day, and doesn't seem to understand that I cannot mentally, emotionally, or physically give her that much. She also always calls when I'm at work - I try to not tell her when I'm at work so I can have some privacy and not feel like she's still breathing down my neck, but I know from past experiences that if I don't answer and she has any inkling that I'm at work, she somehow got my work phone number and will call, which is embarrassing and inappropriate having to take a personal call on our work line. I just need her to not need me to entertain her over the phone, and I've tried to get her to understand, but it would seem I need some new tactics.