Looking for any suggestions and brainstorming options, any help is deeply appreciated.
I have an aging father who is currently homeless/transient, possibly with npd (narcissistic personality disorder), and has history of borrowing/losing money, funds, etc. Though I love him and want to help him within my capabilities (I'm an only child near my 30s, working FT and engaged), he can be unpredictable, unreliable, and not entirely truthful. Admittedly, I'm still a little afraid of initiating more of a relationship with him (we have very wide boundaries firmly in place between us atm).
The more urgent issue is my grandmother (his mother). Potentially may have co-dependant issues with her son, and it's hard to come up with solutions that involve both her and him together. She requires more care soon (she's beginning to fall a lot more and should have someone living with her), and has been living between her daughters, but the current plan isn't sustainable. She's going to need permanent, long-term care/housing soon, but the lists for nursing homes are long, and no one is able to move in with her (all her daughters are established with families of their own and live in different cities). Because my grandmother has been the one to raise me in lieu of my parents, I want to help...but I don't know how I can.
Every day I rack my brain for new ideas, but I feel like I'm a generation too late. I'm hardly established, just barely out of student-loan debt, renting, etc. Fiance is super supportive, but is also fair and firm with the boundaries, as I've already tried to help before (my grandmother lived with me for an extended period of time while I was in university but the situation fell to pieces). How do I prepare looking after both a parent and a grandparent in the years to come? How do I reconcile my "moral obligation" with my actual ability??