He keeps says nothing is wrong. He agreed in the morning then freaking out by the afternoon. Sulking and refuses to talk. Now we are at the end of the road. He goes in tomorrow or we lose the bed and then years can go by before another chance. He needs the help, we can't do it anymore. Mom needs a hip replacement and he will not let us get her help.

This is so hard for all of you. All you can do is go forward with the plans that you know are right not only for him but all of you. Sending a bazillion hugs your way! 💗
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

Please let us know how it goes today!
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn

C1, I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this tough spot.

Can we assume that dad has some level of cognitive decline and that mom is his caregiver, and that she now needs surgery?

Many people with cognitive decline have little to no insight into their deficits. You cannot expect your dad to empathize with mom's needs or with your predicament. When it comes right down to it, if dad is competent, he gets to make his own bad decisions.

If dad is going to be alone while mom is recovering, perhaps you need to step back and not help.

I'm hoping that dad will be a bit more reasonable in the morning and that you can tell a therapeutic fib about this being a temporary placement.

Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn

Lie if you need to. Tell him it is just for a week or 2 and if he doesn't like it, he can come home. Find a reason (another lie) at the end of the week to tell him he has to stay another week. Painting the house. Having carpet put down. Heat being repaired. No water and waiting on the plumber. Eventually he may decide he loves it and stop asking to come home.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Tiredandweary

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