Seems that we can recognize something of our Mother in nearly every correspondence on this site, now belatedly discovered. Must hunt further on this topic. Mother lives alone thanks to use of Nest cameras and 2 of us living near-by and another on weekends frequently. She doesn’t hesitate to express how lucky she is to have our help and expects it to remain that way.
She won’t shower anymore (says she does) even after having a major accident on herself, shoes and carpet despite Depends. Meals on Wheels piled up in fridge unused. She eats 3 things during the course of a day: canned soup, toast, bananas and something sweet. Food she doesn’t want is thrown out her door for critters. Her house is predictably dirty so we do our best in that area. She doesn’t keep herself clean, hair looks dirty (perm appt. this week & buying dry shampoo) and all worn or stained clothes are piled high on a chair and worn again. Trying my best to put this in a nutshell.
We do not live with her so these things are inevitable. Can’t leave things out for her to choose from since she is beyond making choices or paying attention to notes and signs.
It’s getting more than we can figure out the answers to. However we know she needs to live in a healthier, safer environment. This is the 1st time we have all been in agreement that Mother needs to live elsewhere. Do people actually physically get removed from this sort of bad situation? We cannot imagine how to handle this.
(We have toyed with the idea of secretly moving some of her possessions to surprise her with in a new location.)