Now we are living together. We are in the process of divorcing and I would like to see him live independently. He does go to therapy but doesn't do his exercises otherwise and depends on me to do things that he can even do with his hands. I am trying to make him more self sufficient but I know he is depressed (seeing a counselor that he doesn't yet like). He only saw her twice. Today I went biking on a trail with my girlfiends he called me that his wheelchair pad was stuck and he could not move (the wheelchair is from the nursing home and we are waiting for a new one from Medicare). He does have a life alert which he pressed which did not work. We did just get it. Anyway he called me and I told him to call the fire department cause I would not be able to fix the wheelchair. Plus I was a good distance from home. When I returned home he was very angry with the wheelchair people and the life alert people. I told him that he needed to take the time to read the literature about the life alert system. He said I have no time and he said I am doing nothing to help him. I take care of all of his primary needs (even changing his bowel movements). I told him, which is true, that when we seperated I wanted someone in my life to be with in old age and he said let your friends do that. I will be there but live my own life. Here I am doing everything for him and asking him to read literature about a life support system and he gets mad. He picked up the TV remote and was going to throw it at me. I told him if he threw it at me I would call the police. He proceeded to throw it at the wall and cut his finger. I was scared. He did calm down and apologized. He has never been that abusive before.
I feel guilty when I go out and I think he resents me doing this. Any suggestions are deeply appreciated.