My cousin and I share the financial responsibilities of our Aunt. Can we get compensated for all the running around we do?


Our aunt has advanced dementia. She is 97 still in her home. We have care workers there from 9 am til 10 pm 7 days a week. My cousin and I spend so much time, calling careworkers, paying bills. Paying the care workers, getting her out so we can have a housekeeper to clean her house. So much legwork and time out of our everyday lives. Can we get an allowance for all this? Our families are complaining all we do is spend time making sure she’s cared for and we get nothing! Any thoughts?



There is a difference between caregiving and the duties of a POA and the things one would normally be expected to do as a family member. Dealing with bank accounts, paying bills and other financial matters are the responsibility of the POA, everything else falls into one of the other two categories. If you find yourself doing a lot of running around for your Aunt and want compensation for that then you need a caregiver contract, and as long as she is competent you need her permission before paying yourselves, drawing up a contract and signing it yourselves would be a conflict of interest.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to cwillie

Freqflyer, my aunt was always a power control freak. When we hired the housekeeper, my aunt went ballistic. “Why are you doing this? I clean my house! Get her out of here!” Our aunt hasn’t cleaned the house in month when we finally got the housekeeper. So, we make sure she’s out for a few hours and therefore, the house gets clean and she doesn’t know the difference. An end to a means.
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Reply to MadrinhaAlice

MadrinhaAlice, one question, why do you need to take your Aunt out of the house while the housekeeper is cleaning, especially since you have caregivers with her 7 days morning, afternoon, and evenings?

I took over the bill paying for my Dad. Had all of his bills and bank/stock statements transferred to my house, which made it easier then running to Dad's house every time a bill or statement came in. Dad's bank set up the checking account so that I could sign Dad's checks.  For paying the caregivers, the Agency would draw the amount out of Dad's checking account automatically. I never had any issues with the automatic draws.

My Dad had his fair share of doctor appointments and he liked to have a monthly hair cut or he would start complaining he was looking like Dagwood :)) Dad's day caregiver was more than happy to take Dad to his doctor appointments, and for his haircuts. Would even take Dad shopping.

Thank goodness you have your cousin to help out. I had no relatives in State to lend me a hand. But I know, sometimes it feels like you have a part-time job on top of a full-time job.

Like, cwillie above had mentioned, check the wording in your Power of Attorney.  No, I never asked for payment.
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Reply to freqflyer

I assume you are both POA? Check the document and see if it allows you to be compensated for the work you do in that capacity, I know that my mother's actually says no. If it is permitted then keep track of your hours and set up a rate of pay consistent with what anyone else would expect to earn for the same type of work, don't forget to submit written invoices and include the money on your income taxes!
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Reply to cwillie