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They get loud because they can't hear themselves talking. I just use my hand telling my husband he needs to lower his voice. If your DH won't lower his voice then walk away. Tell him you refuse to talk to him if he is not wearing his hearing aides.
Help DH put his hearing devices in his ears; if he refuses, then put earplugs in YOUR ears and refuse to speak to him until he addresses this problem. Get him back to the audiologist to make sure the hearing devices fit and work properly, then insist he wear them ALL the time. It may be time for placement otherwise because the TWO of you need to be able to live in peace in the house at the same time, not just HIM. Your needs matter too.
Then proceed to look blankly at him when he talks and say sorry please put in your device I can’t understand you 😉
Sometimes we have to reframe things in ways they understand to effect change.
My hearing is so sensitive I hear with my whole body, it can feel like I’m being assaulted (loud music etc) so I know what you mean if someone is particularly loud.
Did he have a “real” audiological exam when he got his hearing aids? Audiological evals for MANY PEOPLE “of a certain age” need specific types of assessment done by trained specialists.
Unfortunately, the type of tests that actually work are expensive, and the hearing aids that may help most may also be expensive.
If you happen to be near a college with a department that trains audiologists, you may be able to access a clinic that can guide him to the best policies for HIS needs.
Recent research suggests that less than optimum hearing can result in language deterioration. Please don’t let that happen. Do some research on potential sites for cost effective hearing evaluations in your area.
Last hint- I actually had some academic training in “hearing conservation” (the field of saving and using good hearing as weave, and EVEN I NAGGED MY HUSBAND about this until I quietly convinced him that he was missing the adorable things our grand babies were saying
WORKED LIKE A CHARM !!! He now wears and LOVES his hearing aids.
So I know how frustrated you can be with being with someone who TALKS LOUD, and have to repeat what you are saying to him in a LOUD voice. I hated that. I was almost ready to get him an old fashioned "ear trumpet" for him to use.
So I decided to keep talking in my regular voice, which is soft, and if he couldn't hear me, that was his problem. My next step would be to buy a white board and write on it what I was saying.
He can get medication to help with his anxiety, and that issue. That has to be incredibly painful to talk non stop. He doesn't want to, he can't help it.
You can get help for him. Good luck.
Can you try to get your husband engaged in a "purposeful" activity, like sorting and pairing nuts and bolts? Or assembling duplo blocks? My Aunt folds kitchen towels every day and also does 2 30-minute stints on a portable pedal exercycle while she's watching a dvd.
As for the volume your husband speaks at... not sure what to say about that except maybe the hearing devices he uses isn't giving him accurate feedback about his own volume? Maybe consult with an audiologist for suggestions, or his doctor for anxiety meds to slow him down a bit?
I’d suggest that you experiment. White cotton wool could drop down the volume while you could still hear him talk. It could also be a constant reminder to him, without you needing to nag.
Plus, there is a lot of adaptations it takes to manage your hearing aid in noisy situations that people might not have as they age.
A hearing aid is a much more complicated device than a pair of glasses and takes a considerable amount of work to manage properly. An aid without a working battery, a plugged mold, not turned on, on not turned up becomes an ear plug and utterly unhelpful.
For all of these reasons, my mother has a mild-to-moderate hearing loss and does not have a hearing aid. I support her hearing loss by good communication strategies much more easily than with a hearing aid - and I'm an audiologist.
Beyond that information, simply having a hearing loss does not make people talk all the time. I would think that is either a deliberatrle compensatory strategy to talk so as to not have to listen, or a sign of cogtlnitive decline that he isn't having didactic conversations any more.
But, the volume of their voice may be unusually loud. I would encourage you to find nonverbal cues to let him know he's too loud (a hand singnal, for example) that isn't interrupting his thought process.
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