I just moved my daughter to college and brought grandma along. Her super annoying behavior ruined what should have been a special time for my daughter and me. My daughter and I are just barely on the autism spectrum and we like silence and listening to music. My mom can’t stand silence or sitting still. Yesterday I asked her three times to stop making jokes by very KINDLY saying, “I think I’m in too serious a mood for any more jokes today." I’m sorry! I take all of the jokes seriously and try to figure them out literally and it makes my brain really tired. She laughed the first two times as though I was making a silly joke, then the third time said she would try. She also will not stop making suggestions when we are shopping for things. She brings us things my daughter does not want or need then tries to suggest why the rejected thing would work. I’ve pulled her aside and said things like “grand daughter is stressed out right now, let’s give her some space and let her look around on her own.” Or I send her if to find something on the other side of the store. WHY did I invite her on this trip?! Granddaughter is decorating her room and my mom will not stop giving decorating suggestions and tips. Grand daughter is on a zoom call and we need to be quiet. My mom will not stop whispering stupid things to me and I keep saying, What? I can’t hear you. Let’s just eat quietly until her zoom session is over," but she keeps whispering things to me such as observations in the room, something outside the window, my food is really yummy, how about yours? Mmmm this is so good! I knew she would be like this but I want to treat her the way I’d like to be treated when I’m her age. I can’t stand to travel with her. She is ridiculously overly helpful telling me things I either already know, I don’t care about, or I can easily figure out on my own. She gets her feelings hurt when I tell her yes, I know there’s a hair dryer in the bathroom and I could use it to dry my hair, I am storing all my toiletries beside it. Yes, I know that my leftovers are in the fridge and I can eat them if I’m hungry. Yes, I know that the light switch is on the wall in the bathroom, yes I know that there’s a grocery store 1 block away. No, grandchild said she does NOT want a picture for her wall, stop looking for one. No, I do not need a pillow for my back which is on the couch beside me which I would pick up and use if I wanted it. She just can not stop talking and suggesting and joking.
I don’t want her to feel left out and she is recently retired, but still works a few days a week. She lives by herself and constantly talks to herself. She talks to me while I’m leaving a room so I have to go back and ask what she said and 99% of the time it was something stupid or a little joke. It’s so frustrating.
I guess I need to stop feeling guilty and trying to include her. My daughter is resentful that grandma is here, and I’m spending time taking care of both of them instead of focusing on my daughter and enjoying myself a little.